I Never Got To Tell Her “Thanks”


To front & posture like I was the biggest Amy Winehouse fan would be ludicrous. In fact, the only reason I’m even vaguely aware of Ms Winehouse’s music is because of the media/press coverage of her substance abuse problem.

My introduction to her, a little over 3 years ago, was short & sweet.

In the beginning stages of my rehabilitation, I made sure I bogged my Blackberry down with as much music as possible. I knew I’d need as many real-world distractions as I could handle. Of the 200+ songs that inevitably became the soundtrack for my redemption road traveling, Amy’s “Rehab” was truly the one motivating song I had. Somebody brought the song to my attention, because they thought it was applicable to what I was going through at the time. I’d listen to it continuously & continually, to & from Kaiser Hospital, daily.

I knew how she felt, because the only reason I was letting these strangers get close enough to me to “help” was because I didn’t have a choice. Too weak to help myself (mentally, spiritually, emotionally) & too dumb to stop drinking on my own. Because of that, I admired the fact that they told her she should go to rehab, & she said “no, no, no,” yet that bullheaded nonchalance gave me the proper outlook on what needed to be done, because even as damaged goods, I knew I’d hit rock bottom.

& for the record, in any addiction, rock bottom is one level above not-so accidental suicide.

To wake up today, plug in, & see that Amy Winehouse succumbed to what we were fighting made me sad. Substance abuse is real.

Rest in peace Amy Winehouse.


11 comments on “I Never Got To Tell Her “Thanks”

  1. DV says:

    If i had a twitter account i would retweet the hell out of that.

    R.I.P. Amy Winehouse


  2. Jonathan says:

    This is dope. I am a Amy Winehouse stan. That voice, those lyrics, and the attitude sold me. My homie put me onto her one night when we were drunk coming from some place we had no business being. He played “You Know I’m No Good” and in a drunken stupor went home and woke up the house blasting that track.


  3. Mark Dub says:

    It’s a shame that someone who’s voice was so angelic succumbed to her personal demons. Rest In Power, Amy Winehouse.


  4. She could have sucked my dick for crack anytime… RIP


  5. Nagan says:

    guessing the fame and the tabloids played a part of it (english tabloids and the papparazzi are hardcore) first i heard of her was on that ghostface track, gave her a listen and liked that shit. It’s hardcore when you have an adiction and your mental ties into it. some saw her as a junkie or whatever she was just a peep who couldn’t escape the cycle.. being an alchoholic myself it doesn’t take too much of a bump to fall off that wagon, hardcore if the world is watching..
    would say RIP but when you gone you gone, no heaven in my perspective, death is like shutting your comp off, no saves. our minds are basically a biological computer. tip my hat at those she loved and left behind though, i bet most peeps know at least 1 person who struggles, and i bet again most won’t help just gossip on their condition. respect to thjose who ever helped fuck those that do nothing but gossip


  6. Phlip says:

    Irony is that I was listening to her in the shop Friday night getting my dreads washed.
    I didn’t think about it until I dropped my daughter off to my moms so the lady and I could take a break.
    She had a HUGE voice for such a slight person with substance abuse problems. She is a talent that will be missed.


  7. Tron says:

    Nice write up. Amy’s music will always Stick with me.

    I was telling my wife “of course she dies at 27. Of course she does.”
    Typical ending to the same sad shitty story.



  8. Loki says:

    Its sad too see pop stars still dying from this shit, when will we learn to help ourselves and more importantly, one another?


    • Phlip says:

      It is hard to take this as something so simple, in my opinion.

      God created us as sentient beings, meaning we have a choice. Human nature is to do for self, and it is unfair to say “why did ‘they’ let her do this to herself?”
      ‘they’ tried to make her go to rehab, remember?
      At some point, one has to leave it in the hands of the person in question, the unfortunate fact is that doing what you could will have to serve as enough.
      I had to wake up in a hospital with 3 cracks in my skull, a broken jaw and broken shoulder to change my ways. Others still had to wake up in hospitals for other issues to truly take from them. The ones who never do take anything from the lessons that others’ live present are why Charles Darwin was at least partially right.


  9. $yk says:

    Charlie Sheen & DMX are next…and I hate to say it…but I see it…


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