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Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups

5 Things You Shouldn’t Give Your Girl On Valentine’s Day

5. Access to Facebook (via tablets, notebooks, smartphones, library cards, et cetera). If she’s not on(line) by now, keep her off of Facebook at all costs. That thing is dangerous, & with a minimal amount of research you can see exactly what I mean. If she is on, do your best to starve the addiction or suffer the consequences. She’ll either leave you for her first boyfriend, catch you cheating with your new girlfriend, or accidentally turn your email address into a spam factory. Nonetheless, any type of device that can help her track you down or give her instant access to your social whereabouts is a bad idea. If you provide such an instrument, you can’t ever blame her for blowing up your spot.

4. An unwanted pregnancy.

3. Any R&B albums containing songs about empowerment, heartbreak, independence, cheating, babies outside the relationship, or spousal abuse. Subjects such as those always tend to stir emotions in people, & the last thing you want to do is ruffle feathers or remind your lady about forgotten baggage on Cupid’s day of vengence. At that point, you enivitably become the messenger & must provide a reason for why she shouldn’t kill you.

2. An STD.

1. A strong, durable vibrator (unless you know for a fact that you can out-perform 32 triple ‘A’ batteries & a loaded debit card.)

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2 comments on “5 Things You Shouldn’t Give Your Girl On Valentine’s Day

  1. Mark Dub
    February 6, 2012

    This list sums isht up PERFECTLY.My gal is Facebook addicted. I’m not even on it b/c I’m already knowing the fuckery that goes down on that joint. She won’t be using that on some kid detective shit to bust my balls. Lol. Great list Grands

    Like

  2. THE INFAMOUS JCITY™
    February 7, 2012

    Just put a red bow (blue if you just happen to be an overly anal crip) on your dick and call it a day. Fuck a spa date, bitches loves homemade facials.

    Like

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