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5 Reasons Why COPS Is The Greatest Show Of All Time

5. We All Love Violence
No matter how many of your buddies love to watch UFC for it’s staunch reality, or how many times your grandparents watch the news in one day, humans can’t get enough violence. A healthy, safe, medium-sized helping of said violence is spoon-fed to the viewers in 30 minute increments with COPS. It’s the equivalent of reality show baby formula. Except the DHA & RHA are replaced with HIV & LAPD, if you will. It’s not quite enough violence to turn you into an introvert, but just enough to make you look twice at certain types of individuals post-sunset.

4. Undying Replay Value
As pathetic as it may sound, I’ve seen every episode of “I Love Lucy” (not to be confuses with “The Lucille Ball Show”) & every episode of “COPS.” In older episodes of the latter, I’ve heard undercover Black officers calling each other “nigga,” seen areolas of all shades; as well as witnessed dozens of cases where police brutality was acceptable. Sometimes encouraged. In fact, if you watch the earlier episodes, the camera man made sure to capture all the real life drama that unfolded before him. After 10 or so years, though, once an officer & a suspect’s skirmish became physical (as opposed to tazing them immediately), the camera would cut scene or aim in a different direction. I’m no fool. They got wise to civil rights & what not & stopped broadcasting those critical beatdowns. Regardless, I could watch the drunken buffoon tussles & crackhead wrestling matches all day long.

3. The Unintentional Hilarity
I try not to laugh at people when unfortunate things publicly happen to them. Even when I find out they’re okay, in most instances, I just don’t find humor in others’ misfortune, however minute it may be. That, though, only counts for real life, where I could possibly feel guilt or pressure for an immature giggle or smirk. There aren’t too many things worse than a grown man snickering at an elderly chap who took a spill due to Burger King’s over-waxed linoleum. That poor old man doesn’t deserve the ridicule, even if I keep it on the low-low. But the fools on COPS?! Look; drunk driving with crack crumbs on your lap is all the permission I need to laugh at your reckless idiocy. You forfeit any humility I may have allowed you to keep when you beat up your girl, run from the cops, & then get beat up by the cops because you couldn’t run fast enough. It’s noting personal, & don’t blame me, blame the universe. Even still, I’m but a spectator, & i find it hilarious.

2. Never A Boring Episode
Seriously. It’s impossible to go wrong when you follow a police officer around with a camera. If I had to pick an episode that lacked luster, it would be the few times that a camera crew went to other countries & followed their peace officers around. With the exception of a drug-war riddled South America, the other countries were drab & virtually crime-free. A drug addiction here or a wife beating there & that was about it. & even those mediocre productions were surely more entertaining than the Wendy Williams show or another “The Game” rerun.

1. It Teaches You How To Deal With The Cops
COPS has shed virtual light on just about every imaginable scenario a police officer can be in. If you’ve watched the show like I have (& still do) then you notice that the one constant, regardless of semantics, is the officer. For the most part, it’s a perpetual documentary of behavior, police as well as criminal. If broken down to the simplest element, COPS teaches you not to do stupid shit. It’s not so much a criminal life deterrent, or diet Scared Straight, but rather a thinly veiled tutorial on how not to smoke weed during business hours & how to avoid being bitten by a K-9 officer. Really, though, if I had to hide a gun or my satchel of dope, there’s a bevy of places I know not to use as a stash spot. & that’s just one of thousands of lessons the show has taught me.

Maybe COPS isn’t the greatest show ever to you. & that’s cool. However, it’s not often that one comes across the perfect combination of education, entertainment, & comedy that COPS presents on a routine basis. If you don’t think it’s the greatest show ever, it should at least rank higher than most of the crap on television nowadays. It does in my house. •

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8 comments on “5 Reasons Why COPS Is The Greatest Show Of All Time

  1. Nagan
    February 24, 2012

    i get my COPS fix off of the net, the realest of reality shows IMO. Everyone of those points is spot on, why i watch it. Seems like it has been on since the dawn of time, but i never get sick of it. the theme song is so bloody iconic too. i love it!

    The police in the US going b y the show anyways, are a whole lot more hardcore than the ones where i live

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      February 24, 2012

      Police out here have to act like the criminals in order to keep up with them…or at least that’s the righteous spin they put on their job.

      Like

      • Nagan
        February 24, 2012

        we got a few dodgy cops round here but nothing like on COPS. Only time i have seen a cop with his weapon drawn was when i was the subject of mistaken identity and had 5 cops draw on me. they got called to my house on reports of screaming from a female, no female present at the time, i was stoned as hell sitting in my undies , and boom boom boom on the door i yelled at em cussing not knowing who they were , answered the door and got rushed. come to think of it ,it would of made a great COPS scene, half naked dude yelling then pinned, cops kicking shit around my home. Funny thing is when i was in the clear, all they said was have a good night sir lol

        Like

        • Tony Grands
          February 24, 2012

          Cops pulled guns on me (us) once. Me & 3 homies. Same thing, mistaken ident.

          Ordered us out at gunpoint, had us spread eagle in the middle of an intersection in Inglewood, helicopters above, K9 officers, yelling, the whole 9. When it was over, they sincerly apologized, explained that they were looking for somebody else. Even dusted us off a little.

          This is in the 90’s, not recently, lol

          As we walked back to the truck, I looked in & saw my buddy Ree’s weed, in PLAIN VIEW, in the back. 3 ounces in a bag. The cops got so busy removing us from the vehicle that by the time they found out we weren’t who they were looking for, they never searched our car.

          Dude…

          We hopped in & calmly drove away, like the law abiding citizens they apologized to.

          Like

          • Nagan
            February 24, 2012

            lmao on my incident i had my bong and a bowl of weed out, they saw it but must let it slide cuz they never said anything! lol think i remember you posting about you lil run a while back

            Like

  2. DV
    February 25, 2012

    Had a friend get arrested on Cops back in 99. They used to stay shooting segments in my old neighborhood in Vegas to the point where atleast one segment per Vegas episode was on one of the blocks around my way. The cops where clever because they was trying to cut down the heavy drug dealing going around by having camera crews filming and for the most part it worked.

    Like

  3. Mark Dub
    February 26, 2012

    I haven’t checked for COPS much recently, but this post will have me watching it w/a bit keener eye

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      February 26, 2012

      The grainier the video, the grimier the cops. Boston & New Jersey episodes in the early 90’s especially.

      @DV
      Yeah, they love Vegas more than L.A. #Fact. They have an entire episode strings dedicated to Vegas, I forget what the subheading says, tho.

      Like

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This entry was posted on February 24, 2012 by in keeping it real, Lists Of Fives, unusual suspects and tagged , , , , , .

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