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Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups

Sean’s Red Fur Coat

When I first joined Tumblr, it was out of sheer curiosity. For months, I toyed with layouts, ogled at other sexier, more aggressive pages, & posted random nonsense of my own (hoping for a reblog or a like, but not really). I didn’t take the site seriously – on a social level – because a) I hadn’t yet been excepted by the tumbmunity, & b) I was too occupied by the volumes & myriads of creepy boobage to care.

Eventually the site picked up traffic by various means, & I reapproached it with less nonchalance. I noticed people I knew, who owned their domain names, transferring from their hosting sites to Tumblr. Then I realized that this wasn’t your ordinary dot com set-up. It’s basically no-holds-barred content creation, where as long as you know what you’re doing, you can do what you want.

I’ve come across dozens of überhip, super cool sites on Tumblr, but my current crush belongs to RapIndustryFanFiction.com. It’s pretty self explanatory, & I enjoyed it so much that I submitted a ficticious short of my own. Who knows if they will publish it, but I thought I’d share, regardless.

Bon appetit.

    One day, on a cold December morning, Sean called Rick on the iPhone, because Rick was visiting New York. Rick often visited New York to sell rap songs and dreams, but secretly, Rick Ross was selling drugs when he visited. Sean knew Rick sold drugs, but he didn’t care, because Sean Combs stole people’s souls. The two were the best of friends.

    Ungh,” Rick answered.

    What’s good, playboy?!” Asked Sean.

    Chillin’ dawg,” Ross growled, as he exhaled a tremendous amount of marijuana smoke into the air. “I just got up, finna get dressed, count out a couple bands and head that way, nigga.

    Sean and Rick had lots of fun together, usually involving liquor and half naked girls, because those are two things rappers love to have around at all times.

    Fa sho!” snipped Sean, and he began to look for his fur coat. “As soon as I find this fur joint, I’ll be ready. See you in a minute. One.

    Sean tossed his iPhone, and snapped his fingers loudly, speaking half-spanish to his German housekeeper. Sean couldn’t find his fire engine red fur coat, and it was beginning to piss him off. She said she had not seen it, either.

    He looked high, he looked low. He looked in the sauna, he looked in the 8-car garage. Nothing. Sean looked in every place that he could think of. That coat was special to Sean. It had been given to him by his friend Marion Knight. Sean and Marion weren’t always friends, but now they exchanged gifts, texted each other, and sometimes enjoyed video games together online. If Sean was to find his coat, it may take more than just luck.

    Suddenly, the housekeeper announced that Rick had arrived. The two men exchanged colorful handshakes, and Sean passed Rick his freshly-burnt joint. As the blue smoke wafted, Sean told Rick about his big problem…

    Sean’s red fur coat.

    Together, the friends looked high, the friends looked low. They looked in the studio’s bathroom, the looked by the regulation basketball court in the huge backyard. Nothing. Saddened, the two began walking back to the golf cart, turned up the Snoop Dogg song to rap away their disappointment, and began driving back to the mansion.

    Back inside, as they crumbled up weed that resembled Fruity Pebbles & watched “Scarface,” the housekeeper walked in.

    Sir,” she whispered with an accent, “I found your jacket.

    Sean and Rick couldn’t believe their eyes. After a long day of searching, there was the coat.

    Hooray!” they exclaimed, hi-fiving each other, and then the housekeeper. They even let her smoke some of their Crayon box weed.

    Finally, Sean and Rick could leave and have some fun in the city. They were excited, and began calling other friends. They enjoyed spending time together, but before long, the friends will again part ways. Rick to sell drugs and Sean to steal souls, until they can play together again.

    The End.

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6 comments on “Sean’s Red Fur Coat

  1. Nagan
    March 6, 2012

    at mention of fan fiction i nearly bailed at reading this post but yeah funny without the extreme details of the usual haha. haven’t really got to the tumbler stage yet, still dealing with my twitterholicness lol. lol fan fiction i only know about because of one of my regular site toplessrobot.com awesome geek site but fan fiction hurts my eyes usually lol

    Like

  2. goodtogoclothing
    March 6, 2012

    Great Blog post really enjoyed reading it.

    Like

  3. markdub7
    March 6, 2012

    Grands…you are ridiculous. I can not stand you. You have made my work day SO much better. Thank you.

    Like

  4. DV
    March 6, 2012

    Oh man i have to check that site out. Sounds like what would happen if Kool Keith had a blogsite.

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      March 6, 2012

      You’ll enjoy it, juice. I didn’t get to far into the catalog, but it’s hella trippy.

      Like

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