5 D*rty Raps Songs That Would Make Great Jingles [NSFW]

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Remember how those Sir Mix-A-Lot commercials for Burger King hit you in the face like a ton of bricks?

Admit it. You didn’t expect to see such a well respected franchise snatch a rap song out of basic obscurity & turn it into a burger-buying jingle. & don’t be mistaken; the imagery & suggestive connotation were perfectly crafted into a subliminal push towards you buying a burger. & having sex immediately after, if not during.

For what it’s worth, there hasn’t been such a Hip Hop-assisted shock & awe advertising campaign since. Kia Motors came close with those God-forsaken grown man guinea pigs, but no dice. I don’t even respect that artistically because I’m pretty sure Dres & Mista Lawnge didn’t get the proper monetary reciprocation, but that’s for another day.

One of rap music’s slipperier slopes is it’s love for the obscene & vulgar. But that doesn’t stop some of it’s songs from being so catchy & melodic that any ad agency wouldn’t or shouldn’t scoop them up for commercial use. Really, though. Of course it’ll take a nominal amount of editing & refurbishment, but it’s possible. With the right (re)vision, the soul of the song can remain intact without compromising it’s original point. Only those who truly cared would even know what the song was genuinely about to begin with.

This is an untapped gold mine (for the people that already own a lot of the gold, but my point remains).

Sure, the everyday, crossover, mass appeal jams get the opportunity to become jingles, thus pimped for profit, but those aren’t the only songs that pack the power to make you decide on a specific fabric softener or type of orange juice. If you don’t believe me, check out these 5 dirty raps songs that would make great jingles.


“It Aint No Fun”
Dogg Pound
Any amusement park, restaurant, or public spectacle could benefit from this song, & it doesn’t hurt that the word “homie” has become a worldwide phenomena. I’ve heard “homie” pronounced in more native tongues than a ATCQ record. Aside from that, who doesn’t like “fun?”


“Automobile”
Eazy-E
“If you’ll be good to me, then I’ll be good to you. & we can both have fun in my automobile.” While this sounds like an awesome line to spit at the hottest prostitute chick at the bar, it’s also a good way to form a bond of trust between used car salesmen & lemon buyer.


“Pickin’ Boogers”
Biz Markie
What this song lacks in explicit nature, it makes up for in brute honesty. Everybody digs in their nose. In fact, I’m under the impression that God designed our pinky fingers specifically for ear & nose cavity cleaning. Nevertheless, who among us doesn’t need a tissue once a day. Exactly.


“Put It In Your Mouth”
Akinyele
When this song dropped in 1996, my pervert quotient hadn’t yet peaked, & I was much more concerned with actual coitus than cunnilyngis &/or fellatio. So it’s no question why this song always made me think of candy. It’s a double entendre that absolutely works.


“Just Don’t Bite It”
NWA
Similar to Akinyele’s song about oral fixations, except it works on the opposite premise. Instead of encouraging the consumer to put something in it’s collective mouth, it warns not to bite, which hints at toothpaste or denture cream or anything that may be damaging to the mouth. As the chorus says, “Don’t matter, just don’t bite it.”

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5 comments on “5 D*rty Raps Songs That Would Make Great Jingles [NSFW]

  1. MarkDUB7 says:

    As I went through the list, I KNEW Put It In Your Mouth had to be on there. It’s catchy, risque’, and with it, you could seel any candy, popcorn, or flavored lubricant that comes to mind. LOL

    Like

  2. Soulrise says:

    Ok, I know the criteria for the songs is that they be dirty, so this doesn’t quite fit but I was bumpin 40’s new single, Function, today and TELL ME IT WOULDN’T BE PERFECT for a Viagra commercial!!!

    Like

  3. DV says:

    If only I had a marketing job placing songs for ads, i would make a killing (especially on the net).

    Like

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