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Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups

5 Jobs That Hologram Tupac May Have Just Eliminated From The Workforce

Unless you are an imaginary person (see what I did there already), you’ve undoubtedly been swept up into the Hologram Tupac frenzy that engulfed the ‘Net on Monday. In short, Snoop (Doggy) Dogg & a very posthumous Tupac performed onstage together at the Coachella festival on Sunday. Nick Smith & company A/V Concepts “resurrected” Tupac for the concert (to a tune of six figures), & it seemed to be as mysterious as it was creepy. I watched the video three times, actually.

First, to see what all the fuss was about. Next, to marvel at the fact that this guy died in front of the world 15 years ago yet here he is, standing next to Snoop Dogg. Finally, to see what type of jokes I could take to Twitter.

By the time I was ready with the funnies, though, some genius had a @HologramTupac account up & hilariously running, & that just piled on to the eerie aura that the performance prompted. Augmented Reality ‘Pac is definitely a glimpse into the future of digital media entertainment, which the artists themselves don’t even have control over. Yet.

While it’s true that today’s artist may need to plan for their images to be used after death in the future, there are much more practical purposes that holograms can serve today. & until Google get’s the T-1000’s fully operational, these’ll work out just fine. Let’s start with these 5 jobs that hologram Tupac might have just eliminated from the workforce.

5. Movie Ticket Cashier
Rarely do you see one on the outside of that booth. They might as well be holographic images already. It’s one of those courtesy jobs that people can do without, & in societal times of technological upheaval advancement, those are usually the first positions to go.

4. Gas Station Clerk
These guys are the aboveground equivalent of a subway token clerk, except there’s always a high probability for armed robbery, bulletproof gas be damned. In fact, that’s more of a reason to use a hologram; it’s mighty difficult to pistol-whip a 2D laser-light image.

3. Security Guard
Why pay some douche $9.00/hr to gain weight & be ignored – & possibly assaulted – by the general public? He could be at home drinking (which is way more productive than observing & reporting), & that job could be given to something that will have most customers & patrons too freaked out to even think about doing anything worth paying extra attention to.

2. Referee (Basketball/Football/Soccer)
If I had a dime for every time I laughed at a referee getting trucked, tackled, tripped over, or knocked down, I’d have a lot of dimes. Although it’s always fun to watch some middle aged guy tumble underneath giants, if replaced by a non-person, that’s that much less liability for the powers-that-be.

1. Part-time Father
Well… I’m just saying. Sometimes in life, a handful of feathers outweighs the memory of the bird.

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9 comments on “5 Jobs That Hologram Tupac May Have Just Eliminated From The Workforce

  1. Federal Ranga
    April 17, 2012

    6 figures? I thought it was $10M, but eff it. I’ve had the chance to watch it and I kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda see what all the fuss is about… kinda. Good shit, G.

    Commission!!!

    Like

  2. markdub7
    April 17, 2012

    No. 1? Part-time father? ROFFLE w/a side of MAYO! You’se a fool for this one, Grandzilla.

    Like

  3. Capital G
    April 17, 2012

    Plug Life… that twitter shit is hysterical. And we need gas station clerks in Jersey, I kid you not, them arabs get heated if you touch their nozzle (||). We ain’t allowed to pump our own gas over here.

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      April 17, 2012

      Wait… They pump the gas for y’all out there? Redman & Bruce Springsteen never mentioned that…

      Like

      • Capital G
        April 17, 2012

        Hell… fuckin… yes. As expensive as it is to get by out here, the least they could do is have some potential terrorist pump my 93 octane.

        Lol at Springsteen. People go apeshit for dude, I’m talking multiple generations love his shit. I don’t see what the big deal is but I’m a 33rd degree hater, like a bitter master mason.

        Like

        • Tony Grands
          April 17, 2012

          Wow. The last time I remember someone pumping our gas was in the late 80’s.

          Every time I see New Jersey, I think Redman & Springsteen. They should’ve done a song by now.

          Like

  4. eazy_
    April 18, 2012

    can’t pump gas in oregon either

    Like

    • Capital G
      April 18, 2012

      Lazy luxury… got to love it.

      Like

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