5 Similarities Between Rappers & Bartenders

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5. They have an uncanny, inseparable relationship with the stripper “exotic dancer.” That works out well for most sidekicks, weed carriers, blunt rollers, baggage handlers, etc. (I say “most” because some guys are fubar & just can’t get chicks no matter what. God bless ’em, though.)

4. Their advice may or may not be for entertainment purposes, so be sure to get a second opinion before acting upon it. Most careers that involve grandstanding also involve a mandatory amount of veritable bullshit pumping through your veins at all times. Just don’t be so quick to pull a gun on your babymoms child’s egg host. That’s all I’m saying.

3. No matter how friendly they seem, they’re after the money, so don’t take the song & dance personal. The more monies the customer is willing to dish out, the better & more interactive “the show” becomes. Tips go a long way.

2. What the job lacks in health benefits, it more than makes up for in free, anonymous, alcohol-induced sex. Those are personality benefits. (Unless you’re married to a bartender or rapper, because your particular bartender/rapper spouse loves you & would never do anything like that to hurt you.)

1. When they serve you, expect ice. If you tell them you don’t want any, they may insist that you get some if you want to be taken seriously.

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2 comments on “5 Similarities Between Rappers & Bartenders

  1. markdub7 says:

    Shit Grands….some of the best…and worst advice I’ve ever heard came from bartenders. Lol

    Like

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