Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups
Let’s be realistic. Not every boy has access to the vast vault of knowledge that he’ll need to cross the threshold of manhood properly.
That’s just how things are these days.
& when it comes to girls & women, men – both young & old – seem to take their cues & hints from songs, buddies, & movies, which are usually all rooted in fiction. The concept of love to those things is tantamount to taboo, & even though they’ll never admit it, dudes want to fall in love too. Since there’s rarely a voice of reason to point them in the right direction from the beginning, bad decisions are made, & what you end up with is a society full of fatherless families. But that’s neither here nor there.
Finding anonymous sex partners is easy. Especially if you have some monies to toss around. But finding someone to genuinely spend time with is an entirely different sport. & it takes quite a bit more energy than it does to just flagrantly toss peen in random, cardinal directions. If one has the patience & wherewithal, though, the outcome is well worth the effort.
Let’s assume your methods at finding someone to love have yielded nil at this point. So, before we go any further, we need to figure out why that is with these 5 reasons why you can’t get the girl that you want.
5. Your Friends
Birds of a feather flock together. That’s a scientific fact. If your boys are a pack of rabid animals, chances are that you have the same sexicidal tendencies. Even if it’s not true (anymore), as long as she sees & hears them panting & clawing at every piece of ‘tang that comes their way, a part of her will always suspect you to be doing the same behind her back. A time comes during every man’s journey when he must decide whether he’d rather sit around a bunch of dudes all day or get all the lovin’ possible. Assuming those two aren’t one-in-the-same (not that there’s anything wrong with that), it may be time to choose.
4. Her Baggage
The older I get, the more I see how much a girl has to endure on the road to womanhood. By the time she’s eighteen years old, she will have most likely seen it all. Not necessarily done it all, but I’ll leave those types of things to Jerry Springer. If your game is tight & you have your shit together, there’s no reason a woman would reject your advances. But if she does & you can’t pinpoint why, that may be a good thing. The last thing she’s going to do is open up to a stranger, & if she’s not interested, take it as a sign. Some things in life you shouldn’t have to work that hard for. & just think; she could’ve used you as some sort of rebound date, gotten pregnant, sued you for child support, & attempted to ruin you all because her uncle touched her when she was seven. (No shots ladies, I just know how it goes sometimes.)
If she doesn’t want to be bothered, move on.
3. Your Reputation
Thanks to the ‘Net, everybody knows you. Those who don’t, can & will within a few mere button pushes. If you meet a chick in the mall, she will have facebook searched & googled you before she gets to the babysitter to pick up her kids. & if she’s smart, she’ll know everything she needs know about you before you two even have sex. Years ago, all you had to worry about was a common friend or enemy leaking your reputation to a handful of people. Now, you do it yourself every time you update your status. Isn’t that ironic?
2. Your Clothes
Make no mistake; no chick wants a bum. & even though I think a lot of today’s fashion looks incredibly similar to the vagrants & hobo’s I give my loose change to, I know there is a difference between the two. If you met a girl in a snapback, some skinny jeans, & a ridiculously designed t-shirt, the least you can do is show up to her house the next time in some adult gear. & by adult gear, I mean a collared shirt, anti-denim pants & shoes that you can also wear to church or on a job interview. They still cost about the same as *insert whatever J’s y’all wearing now* so technically you can still brag about how much money you spent. Win-win, no?
Bottom line: nothing says “I’m grown” like court clothes.
1. Your Aim Is Off
Listen. Having “high standards” is wonderful, but without being realistic with who & what your are, it’s a useless attribute. You hear rappers & R&B singers crooning about dime pieces & having the best looking broad in the building, but that’s entertainment. Or at the most, those dudes get rich & lease women like luxury cars. In real life, it’s hard to get the best looking women, & if you happen to snag her, I hear it’s even harder to keep her. People tend to go with the crowd & wind up sniffing up all the wrong trees in the name of peer pressure. No dice.
Keep it real, all the way real, & adjust your aim. A sketchy 9 fails in comparison to a solid 6.9999 every day of the week.
Words by Tony Grands