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Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups

Wife Vs. Girlfriend Vs. Babymama

Words by Phlip

No, I am not cooking this up as a steel cage match between three of the 6 most important ladies in some dudes’ lives (assuming, of course, that they have a sister and their mom/granny are still living).

I have taken the “close your eyes, click on some albums in MusicBee, and sync what comes up to the iPod” approach, as I tend to overthink what will get me through my work days without assaulting a coworker or 5. Somehow, this approach has netted me some early-to-mid-oughts hip hop, as well as some random R&B and reggae and one Glee album (blame the wife, not me).

Perusing the hip hop albums contained in my iPod from the above-named period, I have noticed rap’s obsession with “babymamas,” and the way they express that of the obsession is quite odd. Apparently, the expectation is that EVERY dude other than “you” treats his babies’ mother like we are expected to treat a wife; providing housing and a loving situation that would be broken by his sponsored betrayal of affection by inserting himself into her. What makes this odd is that the same guy is playing his OWN kids’ mom off like she ain’t shit and never was shit. This is similar to the “every nigga’s mama is/was a whore… except mine” aesthetic that Grands mentioned the other day.

So let me get this straight…
In the means of dropping insulting rap lines, your best insult to me is talking about knocking down a woman that I have already done, and by application of the term “baby mama,” not only did I not marry her, but cannot be bothered to refer to her by her name either? See, if a “baby mama” had any value at the time in which the orgasm that caused her that title, she might be more properly referred to as an “ex-wife,” maybe “ex-fiancé” or at least “ex-girlfriend.” But no, she is a “baby mama,” which makes her familial relation a simple matter of coincidence more than anything, right place/right time. If, as a macho man, you’re of the mind that having fucked some other guy’s old news will render him weak enough to be put off by it, I worry for your reasoning skills.

Fuck his (current) girlfriend/fiancé/wife, on the other hand, don’t be shocked if someone’s brain meat is made visible. There are no victories to enjoy the spoils of in sniping someone’s sloppy seconds.

Let’s lay it out, here:
Wife: simple, you’ve married her and share with her a commitment and (usually) your granddaddy’s last name.

Girlfriend: you’ve at least committed to some level of exclusivity with one (but sometimes more, depending on what she is down for) woman.

Babymama: given the chance, you would probably strike her from your record if possible, but the unfortunate event of a kid came from it and you’re stuck to her for at least 18 years.

Now, I guess my question here is “who in the hell decided that ‘baby mamas’ were even valuable in the grand scheme of things?”

I mean, I have one child, and I was engaged to her mother when she snuck up on us last July, we’ll be married in 2 weeks here. I’ve had a few near-miss pregnancies in my years between age 16 and meeting my current in 2008, but looking back, ANY of those near-misses would have been merely a babymama and nothing more. With that in mind, the only thing of value that could have come of the situation would have been my child. Sheeit, another dude could have HER, as long as no ill befalls my (hypothetical) child.

I guess i’ll simply chalk this up to another of those things that hip hop is obsessed with but didn’t stop to think about beforehand.

Words by Phlip
@CallMePhlip
callmephlip.blogspot.com

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12 comments on “Wife Vs. Girlfriend Vs. Babymama

  1. markdub7
    June 12, 2012

    Phlip…I agree with you one hunna (100%) on this one. However, I’d like to note that although the douce-nozzle emcees who boasts of knocking down your baby mama shouldn’t be perceived a threat, it’s the prospect of that same bastard being around your kid and perhaps abusing that proximity to him (or her) that would make you expose his brain meats (love that expression).

    Like

  2. Phlip
    June 12, 2012

    Friend of mine read this as said “damn, 2 weeks?!!?” and it hit me when I wrote that sentence vs today’s date… I have 11 days left

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      June 12, 2012

      Start packing up your memories. & put them where you’ll have access to them. Gonna be a loooooong flight.

      Like

      • Capital G
        June 12, 2012

        That’s not exactly a glowing review/enthusiastic co-sign for marriage Grands, lol. I would hope getting hitched when you have the right partner isn’t anywhere near as bad as most married men make it out to be. All my married friends tell me to stay single even though I’ve been with the same girl faithfully for 6 years. Shit can’t be all that much different, can it?

        Congrats Phlip! Best of luck to you and your soon to be wifey.

        Like

        • Tony Grands
          June 12, 2012

          Hahahaha!!!

          Nah, I mean the old Phlip is done. Make no mistakes about it. All those memories of chicks & sex & pipe dreams all go aside for the family. (Or at least they should…)

          In the end, all a man really has are HIS memories.

          Like

        • Tony Grands
          June 12, 2012

          I adore my wife & love my family. Best thing that ever happened to me. God blessed me, bruh 🙂

          Like

          • Capital G
            June 12, 2012

            Very nice turn around. You need a job working spin for politicians, you’re nice as hell at it. All reality, it’s refreshing to know you actually care about your family and ain’t afraid to say it.

            Gentlemen take notes….

            Like

          • Tony Grands
            June 12, 2012

            Aint trying to save the world, but I can at least save my household…

            Like

        • Phlip
          June 12, 2012

          Actually, I saw where he was coming from with it. Basically “my” old memories are a thing of the past, all new experiences from now on will be known as OUR memories, and I am cool with that.
          The people on my team are cool with it too, and that is what makes this process so NOT nerve racking.

          Like

  3. eazy_
    June 12, 2012

    Do you have a BM phlip? I don’t think you do I think you are about to marry your childs mom if I read this right. my point is you have to have one to have that it will always be mines feeling. As much as I cant stand her (the bm) there is always a tinge of that p***y will always belong to me no matter what. I am jealous sometimes even though I shouldn’t be. I know where they are coming from.

    Like

    • Tony Grands
      June 12, 2012

      I have a mom, a wife, a daughter, & a BM.

      I’ve been through a lot w/my BM, so trust me when I say God bless & I hope things go okay for her in the future. Any further consideration than that is not going to happen. Especially after finding my wife. I’m good. I’m sure she feels the same way.

      I have more tha enough vaginas to worry about. Any extra is more burden. & only a fool carries more shit than he needs, so to speak.

      Like

      • eazy_
        June 12, 2012

        I can only speak for myself. I will always have feelings for and a special connection with my bm. It would bother me if I had to listen to someone bragging on a record about having their way with her. I know she is living her life but I sure don’t think about it. Please don’t tell my girlfriend. All this would piss her off. lol

        Like

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