The Very First, Very Last Compilation Of “Greatest TV Dads Of All Time” You’ll Ever Need Again In Life


Happy Day-After Father’s Day.

& while we’re on the subject, Father’s Day is now officially the saddest “holiday” in America.

Yearly, vendors flock to corners & semi-empty parking lots nationwide to sell their goods for whatever special day is at hand, but this year, not only was there a lack of Father’s Day commercials on TV, but vendors stayed home. Think about that for a moment; people who hustle according to a schedule for a living didn’t think Father’s Day was going to be worth any effort. They essentially viewed the day as unproductive & a waste of time & money, otherwise they would’ve been out like they are on Easter. Easter is a day we celebrate Jesus with an imaginary bunny rabbit, but a real live man can’t get a cologne basket? Damn.

Nonetheless, as my wife so eloquently pointed out on Sunday, “There are some good dads out there.” & those dads – by unintentional application of the 2012 nuclear family grade curve – are great dads.

A great dad is one who is there for his kid, no matter what, from hell to heavy homework to high water, & all things between. A great dad doesn’t have to be a great man per se, because his actions will never be anything less than great to his kids.

A great dad isn’t something you can learn how to be overnight or from a text book or class. It takes mistakes to sharpen & time to build. What begins as rough & uneven – over time – becomes honed & defined. That’s the horizon from which greatness is born.

A great dad isn’t always the best listener, but is usually an awesome understander. Kinda like a “bite’s worse than the bark” scenario, & the initial reaction isn’t generally indicative of the overall feelings he has. After all, a great dad protects, even if it’s only from the boogie man.

& just because a dad isn’t there all the time doesn’t mean he’s less than great. In fact, by the law of averages, a dad who’s not there all the time has the propensity to be the great dad ever, literally, because absense makes the heart grow fonder. If the babydaddies of the world figure that out, the babymommas would be collectively stiffled, but that’s for another day.

It’s not surprise that a great dad loves a great tv dad. That’s science. There’s always a character with which he relates, who he may even emulate from time to time, because that’s what dads do. Even the great ones. That “village” required to raise the children has no boundaries, & as long as the influence is positive & resourceful, the source is unimportant anyway.

With that said, great tv dads are the axis of young manhood. We spend half of our time laughing at their antics & the other half picking up minute tricks of the trade & what not. Whether we had our own father’s in our lives or not, the tv dad is almost as important as an active uncle or overbearing big brother.

Here’s a tribute to the greatest ones ever.

Al Bundy

James Evans

Homer Simpson

Heathcliff Huxtable

Michael Kyle

Jack Bauer

Red Forman

Hank Hill

Peter Griffin

Carl Winslow

Tracy Jordan

Archie Bunker

Danny Tanner

Ward Cleaver

Dan Conner

Glenn Quagmire

Stan Smith

Tim Taylor

Cleveland Brown

Ned Flanders

George Jefferson

Mike Brady

Howard Cunningham

Julius (Fun fact: no last name was ever given for any member of the family during the entire series’ run)

Happy belated Father’s Day to those that still give a damn.

Words by Tony Grands


One comment on “The Very First, Very Last Compilation Of “Greatest TV Dads Of All Time” You’ll Ever Need Again In Life

  1. eazy_ says:

    damon wayans is the best tv dad.


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