Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups
Words by Tony Grands
There’s an Ace Hood “remix” floating on the ‘nets right now where he’s rapping over R&B singer Miguel’s “Adorn.” The original song with Miguel crooning (possibly to Omarion or Frank Ocean, but that’s just what I heard in them streets, though…)is a staccato-smitten, mid-tempo toe-tapper, & I was caught off guard when I saw Ace Hood decided to overtake the song. When I listened, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but what I got was an earful of unpleasant innuendos & sexual references that I could have lived an entire lifetime without having to hear from another dude.
Was it Ace’s flow or delivery that made me so uncomfortable? No. I get the same feeling any time I hear a rap sex song. & after I shake the icky feeling out of my short term memory, I ask myself, “Are those types of songs necessary?”
Rap music is the exception to so many entertainment rules & taboos, & it seems like rappers would throw sex raps in the same pile of shit as songs about paying bills or raising kids or returning library books. No one wants to hear a rapper recite his grocery list, & on the same token, I don’t want to hear how many things he plans on doing with his penis &
the groupie chick in the hotel room whose molly kicks in first his lady friend. & I have a similar ideology towards porn. I’ll search Pornhub like a mad man – if I have time – to find a clip that’s not giving me the shaft. (See what I did there?) See, I’m a man, & all the man I ever need in any sexual situation – augmented, actual, audio, or otherwise – is me. If I need to visualize some chick, I’d rather not have some random rap cat plugging himself in as the self-appointed star & inadvertent narrator of my “fantasy,” if that makes any sense.
As much as I’m a fan of 50 Cent, he may have been the proverbial straw that broke the imaginary camel’s back. Try this at home: choose any Fif song with a sexual connotation & notice how creepy his verse(s) sounds. “Creepy” to the point where I couldn’t imagine a woman grinding her chair, hips writhing in fantasy as he explains how he plans on giving “it” to her. I’d bet my hard hustled monies that she’s probably more turned off than I am at that point. & 50 is one of thousands of rappers who drop bars about their sexual exploits & conquests who apparently have no idea that the public at large doesn’t really want to hear it. If you’re up for it (ugh, definitely no pun intended), you can try this exercise with any of Rick Ross The Rapper’s songs as well. You’ll never look at his grunts the same way again.
Don’t get me wrong; I do get it. Who among us doesn’t like to brag on the merriment their third leg has delivered to the masses? Now, keep your hand up if you enjoy the next man giving you details about his freaky side. See the correlation?
With R&B so eccentricly thugged out these days & the line between pornography & rap music videos dissipating so rapidly, there’s almost no reason for rappers to rap about sex. (Well, chicks dig it, I guess, but even that seems disputable.) Clear those songs out, pass them to some R&B cats who’ll really know how to flip bars about how to make babies, & that’ll leave more room & opportunity to record songs about selling drugs & killing each other.
Words by Tony Grands