Words by Phlip
“Oh?” “Yeah, talking about some younger nigga she been messing around with” “Okay…” “Apparently he just come around to blow some bud with her, then he wanna fuck and leave” “Question…” “What?” “You got no kids with this chick, you say you ain’t interested in her anymore. Why the fuck you still talking to her?”
I am still waiting on a response to that last question, but I do not expect I will ever get it.
“Yeah, talking about some younger nigga she been messing around with”
“Apparently he just come around to blow some bud with her, then he wanna fuck and leave”
“You got no kids with this chick, you say you ain’t interested in her anymore. Why the fuck you still talking to her?”
I may never know why in the world he is still talking to her, but it seems for sure why she is still talking to him. I see it all the time, and now I will share my findings with you.
In no particular order of importance…
She’s Miserable And Wants You To Be As Well
See, using the above example, two items are at play here. On one hand, no dude WANTS to see some his old piece being offered up to the lowest bidder. We all know that the lowest bidder has historically been the named “young n**ga” who comes through to smoke and fuck. For her to have let herself fall to the point where she would allow herself to be subject to that is to suggest that she has either fallen off or was never on. A lot of the times (and usually accurately), she thinks that is your fault. Women know how much value some men place on WHO is getting his old goodies, rubbing your nose in it is a means of giving you your share of her misery.
It’s A 2-way Street
As much value as you place in who is getting at her, she does in who you are with now. She is comparing herself to them. If she must breach the subject of her own in order to get your dirt, then rest assured she will do so. In her mind, you will never do as well as you had with her. Even if you have, she’ll usually create a set of circumstances where you still can’t win.
Chasing Is For Young Cats
She knows it too… Y’all have history, and for you two to at least be cordial enough to speak then there remains an outlying chance that you might one day be chosen as a “dick in a glass jar” unless she is currently married. Hell, sometimes even then too. She knows you and your habits, and it stands to reason that there was something about her that you liked. She also knows men don’t necessarily LIKE the hunt, it is more a matter of catching what we know how to hunt. The hunter becomes the hunted, and for her to continue any meaningful conversation means that there is at least an outlying chance of something being beneath the surface.
Because She Wants You Single
Not necessarily to make you miserable or anything. It is self-assuring if your former has not moved on to something new. Fun fact: your new chick is SUPPOSED to get mad when you talk to your ex on a regular basis for anything other than children. Her continuing to talk to you leaves you as tainted goods and might prevent you from being able to move on.
Because You Answer The Damned Phone
I talk to my mother and brother every day of my life. It is not always on the phone. Anyone who calls us and we actually ANSWER the phone is in a privileged position. In the digital age, I prefer a text/email conversation, as it cuts out all of the small talk and bullshit and forces one to get to the point without me having to be mean in telling them to do so. If your ex can call you in a world like this and expect that you not only answer but carry on a conversation of this sort should say something.
Personally? I HAD one ex that I could still talk to, and we only broke up because she went to school elsewhere and the distance drove us apart. We still exchanged “happy birthday” texts when we weren’t too busy to remember to send them. Then she got married, and then I got married. Out of respect for our respective relationships, the texts have ceased. The last one was after my daughter was born last year. Hell, whenever one of my exes pops up under “people you may know” on Facebook, I take that as the opportunity to block them. Keeps me from snooping and finding out shit I don’t wanna know and keeps them from doing the same. The point I make is that your exes are exes for a reason and the best place for them when you do not HAVE to talk to them is in your past.