R.I.P. Resolutions: 5 Real Ways To Guarantee Yourself A Great Start To This (Or Any) New Year


Words by Tony Grands

Are you one of those people who – every December – make resolutions for the upcoming year? If so, you’re not alone. Millions of people worldwide partake in this imaginary exercise in futile hope & ghost chasing.

This year, though, forget all that pastuerized nonsense. Do yourself a favor & trim the fat off of your slice of life’s pie with these real ways to guarantee you (& your crew) a great start to this, or any upcoming year(s).

Oh, & happy new year, ya bish.

5. Eliminate The Negatives
People, places, & things that aren’t designed with your best interests in mind should be eliminated from your immediate safe zone. Energy is real. & birds of a feather flock together so why wouldn’t they influence each other also? Not for nothing, but darkness is stronger than light (until Jesus comes back) so for what it’s worth, fuck those virtual black clouds. Keep moving forward until you see light.

4. Make Plans For The Year
Resolutions are cool, but plans are the blueprint of human activity. A resolution is an ends to a proverbial means, the anticipated result of the last straw landing on the haystack, so to speak. But a plan is the schedule created for making contact with an acquired target. The same way you construct a way to pick up chicks or buy weed during a drought can be the same way you achieve the things you want for yourself. Assuming they’re tangible, that is.

Anything worth having is worth plotting on, for real though.

3. Be Real[istic] With Yourself
If allowed, expectations will drown your perception of reality. Not knowing who you are now is the anti-epitome of becoming who you want to be in the future. In fact, being untrue to you is the grandest of backwards hustles for dozens of obvious reasons. You can’t control the future, but you have full dominion over what you allow to breach your universe. Knowing your strengths & weakness is like a real life super power, & that self-awareness will keep you as much out of harm’s way as cosmically possible.

2. Try Harder
When I was I kid & I’d use the word “close,” as in “close but no cigar,” my pops would always say “Close only counts in horseshoes & hand grenades.” (Another favorite of mine is “There aint no early. You’re either on-time or you’re late,” said by Terry Crews’ character Julius on EHC.) I couldn’t dig it then, but I can now. All those things I almost did – with more exertion – I couldve done. I just didn’t want to, & we all know how that feels. Well, I challenge you to try harder this year (at whatever it is, legal or otherwise) than you have ever before. But, if you don’t see results, know that it’s not me, it’s you.

At the end of the day When it’s all said & done, relaxation is a necessary component to enduring a lifetime of coexisting with other humans. Finding a time slot for this imperative activity is recommended by everyone from backwood grandmaws to technically skilled physicians to the random looney birds that you certainly come across weekly. It’s true. You need to chill, because stress & hypertension doesn’t care about you age, sex, or location. EPMD said it best, “Relax your mind, let you conscience be free,” on the classic song, “You Got To Chill.” Even they agree with me.

Words by Tony Grands


2 comments on “R.I.P. Resolutions: 5 Real Ways To Guarantee Yourself A Great Start To This (Or Any) New Year

  1. markdub7 says:

    Great list. How about I plan to try harder to chill? Lol


  2. Loki says:

    An easy to follow formula for everybody, dope


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