NBA Report: The Decline Of Kevin Garnett


Words by Phlip

            Kevin Garnett does things like this because he knows his knees submitted their resignation a while ago, yet he can’t let go of the only full-time job he has ever had…  He also does it because it works, apparently.Let’s run down a quick sampling of the things he has pulled off through the past few years…

    •11/7/2008 – swung on Andrew Bogut
    •12/5/2008 – made his OWN teammate cry on the bench with his berating over a blown defensive assignment
    •10/11/2009 – pushed and shoved with Yi Jianlian during a DEAD BALL in a PRESEASON game
    •4/17/2010 – came to blows with Quentin Richardson for Richardson’s not buying one of Paul Pierce’s phantom injuries, for this he was suspended two playoffs games
    •11/2/2010 – told Charlie Villanueva that he looked like a “cancer patient”
    •1/28/2011 – grape-checked Channing Frye and was immediately ejected from the game

In the meantime, there has been no shortage of players coming forward to discuss publicly what a terrible human being that Kevin Garnett has become in his senior citizenship.  Stories range from personal insults, to physical trickeries on the court, all the way up to non-basketball-related insults to shake someone off of their game.

            And that is where we come into today (well Monday), where Carmelo was taken so far out of his head that he risked a suspension to try to get at Kevin Garnett.  What I am finding around the internets is that Melo probably shouldn’t have married that pretty lady that he married.  I remember thinking that at the time, something I had previously read about celebrities marrying someone who is also a celebrity who happens to have a much lower Q Score than they do (ask Ochocinco about that).  Word on the streets is that LaLa and Melo are not on the best of terms these days and nothing I was able to locate on the interweb shows me that he (or anyone in his circle) was smart enough to have a signed prenup before marrying.  At this point, a marriage on the rocks would leave HIM in position to play Michael to LaLa’s Juanita Jordan and lose literally half of his shit. Enter Kevin Maurice Garnett…

Tasked on a cross-match with minding the 8-years-younger #2 scorer in the league despite being in possession of knees that would rather not, he needed to get into Melo’s head.  Instead of relying on team defense that took them to the finals and won them one of them, Garnett decided to play his OTHER defensive weapon; his mouth.

“yeah, nigga… LaLa taste like Honey Nut Cheerios.”

And like that, young Carmelo was fit to be tied, spending the remainder of his time trying to get hands on Garnett, up to and including following the team into the tunnel, refusing to talk to th media and (eventually) waiting outside for the team bus.

            In the aftermath, Anthony has vacillated from “he said something you don’t say to another man” to “we’ve talked about it and it is behind us.”

Personally, I don’t blame him for reacting as he did, though.  We have a guy who has signed a $80+ million dollar contract after making tens of millions before that and is rumored to be on the cusp of losing half of that to someone who might have wanted to be famous, but would rather just take the money instead.  Knowing that Garnett has been around the “famous” circles for several years more, the suggestion that he MIGHT know firsthand what his wife tastes like at a time like that in his life might be the thing that sent him over the edge.  I really do blame Garnett for having become the horrible human being that he is consistently panned for having become.  Apologists call it “intensity,” but people with eyes and common sense see it as him being that rat trapped in the corner doing as he must to keep his head from getting chopped off.

He has resorted to taking the wrong cues in his application of mind games.  Bill Russell played mind games to his advantage, he STAYED in Wilt Chamberlain’s head to the point where it prevented Wilt from being the best ever – and yes he would have been if Russell hadn’t psyched him out of it – but he did it from an “I’m better than you because I will TRY harder position,” whereas KG’s body has abandoned him the ability to try as hard as he once was and his mind has applied itself to just talking the game as inappropriately as necessary for him to have convinced himself, even if that means making the other guy rage as a response.  In other words, Kevin Garnett – while a surefire Hall of Fame talent – is no Bill Russell and the classlessness with which he is refusing to bow out gracefully in his twilight years is making the fact even more painfully obvious, perhaps at the detriment to his post-basketball life.

            The best thing for KG to do right now would be to hang it up at the end of this season.

Words by Phlip
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8 comments on “NBA Report: The Decline Of Kevin Garnett

  1. markdub7 says:

    I co-sign this post, 100%. KG is not the even the same KG that he was when he won that ring, and the Celts look closer to rebuilding than to being a force in the East. KG…you had a good run; don’t further mar it by letting everyone see just how big an ass you are.


  2. Tony Grands says:

    A KG & Melo fight would be like a t-Rex fighting a cave man from the south side of the jungle or forest.


  3. Phlip says:

    And for those keeping score at home, “honey nut cheerios” mattered in context because LaLa was in a commercial. I had NO idea what in the hell the point of the insult was until my wife informed me of that 8 hours after I typed this post.


  4. LoKi says:

    As a celtic fan I have to say I’ve gotten to the point where I just want KG off the team, I can’t think of what he contributes anymore, we can play defense fine without him. I think hes had a negative affect on Rondo too which I won’t stand for, he needs to find his ass a retirement home.


  5. Capital G says:

    How do you even get mad at that comment? If someone stepped to me on some “Your bitch tastes like Captain Crunch” type shit, I’d never be able to wipe the stupid smile off my face, let alone get mad. ‘Melo was a bit too sensitive over this one. Now if KG said his wife looks like DJ Clue shaved his beard and got a weave, well…


  6. DV says:

    This is what KG does, its nothing new, he says off the wall shit often, its part of whats left of his game. I found the comment both hilarious albeit very disrespectful at the same time. Melo fell for the ol elementary school “Yo Mamma” type shit. I doubt KG even knows La La, meet her before? Sure but knows her to the extent to know how she taste? Nah. And the fact mentioned above about the Honey Nut Cherrios commercial makes this all the more hilarious that Melo couldnt see KG was just messing with him. Unless maybe Melo doesnt know about the HNC commercial. This isnt even the worse thing KG has said or done. Years ago KG (still in MIN when he still had game) once wished Tim Duncan a Happy Mothers Day. Duncans mother passed away from cancer some time ago. To this day Duncan hates KG (no seriously) thats why those 2 really get into it almost every time they play. As far as Melo/Lala goes, that shit was doomed from the start. Im sure its hard not to dabble when a buffet of tang throws itself at you nightly.


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