#InTheNews: Miley Cyrus Embarrasses Father, Bolsters Career at MTV VMA’s

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Words by Chan Bam

Her performance on last night’s VMAs was definitely one for Pop Music’s history books!

Cyrus hit the stage in an adult-size Teddy Graham bathing suit (?) with 2 giraffe knobs on top of her head – ready to go to battle! #TwerkWar

She performed her newly released single, “We Can’t Stop” and her performance proved just that – she either can’t stop twerking, sticking her tongue out or doing drugs – your call.

During her insane Gaga-ish performance, there were more dancing Care Bears and Teddy Ruxpins doing the same gyrating – I’m assuming they considered twerking. The stage was total pandemonium and a clusterf*ck of bullsh*t. The panning of the audience showed classic comedic reactions. The overall consensus was confusion.
But it didn’t stop there.

Cyrus pulls off her Velcro fuzziness to reveal a latex bikini. #Trojan The boy-shorts wouldn’t have been so bad, if they weren’t squeezing what little life she has back there out the bottom – making, what would normally be called ass cheeks, look like deflated water balloons. #fail

Robin Thicke joined the ‘fun,’ in his BeetleJuice attire, attempting to sing his hit “Blurred Lines,” while getting backed up on and groped by a wild Miley. The only thing blurred was my vision after watching that presentation.

I think Kendrick Lamar #KingOfNY and 2 Chainz may have also joined the stage, but that too was a blur.

At the pre-awards red carpet event, Cyrus told an MTV host, she was gonna debut her “movement” that night. What her movement was, I’m not quite sure, but I’d bet $20 it has something to do with drugs and rebellion.

The 20 year old showed the world that she’s no longer the cute Disney kid playing Hannah Montana – she’s now a grown ass kid who likes to dress up as a teddy bear, run wildly, gyrating on any and everything she can push her giblet-looking cheeks on. She is now the queen of award show f*ckery. #TakeThatGaga

Words by Chan Bam
@chan_bam

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2 comments on “#InTheNews: Miley Cyrus Embarrasses Father, Bolsters Career at MTV VMA’s

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