#InTheNews: Miley Cyrus Embarrasses Father, Bolsters Career at MTV VMA’s


Words by Chan Bam

Her performance on last night’s VMAs was definitely one for Pop Music’s history books!

Cyrus hit the stage in an adult-size Teddy Graham bathing suit (?) with 2 giraffe knobs on top of her head – ready to go to battle! #TwerkWar

She performed her newly released single, “We Can’t Stop” and her performance proved just that – she either can’t stop twerking, sticking her tongue out or doing drugs – your call.

During her insane Gaga-ish performance, there were more dancing Care Bears and Teddy Ruxpins doing the same gyrating – I’m assuming they considered twerking. The stage was total pandemonium and a clusterf*ck of bullsh*t. The panning of the audience showed classic comedic reactions. The overall consensus was confusion.
But it didn’t stop there.

Cyrus pulls off her Velcro fuzziness to reveal a latex bikini. #Trojan The boy-shorts wouldn’t have been so bad, if they weren’t squeezing what little life she has back there out the bottom – making, what would normally be called ass cheeks, look like deflated water balloons. #fail

Robin Thicke joined the ‘fun,’ in his BeetleJuice attire, attempting to sing his hit “Blurred Lines,” while getting backed up on and groped by a wild Miley. The only thing blurred was my vision after watching that presentation.

I think Kendrick Lamar #KingOfNY and 2 Chainz may have also joined the stage, but that too was a blur.

At the pre-awards red carpet event, Cyrus told an MTV host, she was gonna debut her “movement” that night. What her movement was, I’m not quite sure, but I’d bet $20 it has something to do with drugs and rebellion.

The 20 year old showed the world that she’s no longer the cute Disney kid playing Hannah Montana – she’s now a grown ass kid who likes to dress up as a teddy bear, run wildly, gyrating on any and everything she can push her giblet-looking cheeks on. She is now the queen of award show f*ckery. #TakeThatGaga

Words by Chan Bam


2 comments on “#InTheNews: Miley Cyrus Embarrasses Father, Bolsters Career at MTV VMA’s

Comments, Questions, Or Criticism?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s