Manhood Mondays: Why Are We Ignoring These Billion Dollar Boobs?

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When we talk about Hollywood’s Afram MILFs, you hear names like Halle Berry, Wendy Raquel-Robinson, Sanaa Latham, Niecy Nash, etc.

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Nash. On fleek.

These curvy sexpots trot around our screens in accidentally seductive ways that probably help push young boys to puberty. Shout out to Pam Grier (who follows me on Twitter). You know who we don’t talk about, though?

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, Steadman’s ubiquitous sugarmomma.

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King Winfrey & Queen Madea

Let’s keep it real, here. There’s nothing wrong with Oprah. Once you manuever through the eerie stench of undercover cat-lady, her BBW rating is just as high as the next moderately hot, middle-aged-yet-still-in-her-prime Black woman. Is Oprah not a BBW? MILF?

Actually, Ope has no kids, so technically she’s not a MILF but my point remains.

A women’s sensual allure can be disarmed by her intimidating success, and I believe this to be the reason that no one ever mentions Oprah’s boobs. I’ve even been witness to…nay…a part of a live conversation about Betty White sex. Yet…I’ve never heard so much as a drunk homie mention anything sexual about Oprah.

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GGMILF

Perhaps my standards have thinned a bit over time. Maybe marriage has dulled my lustful senses from a pencil’s freshly sharpened tip to its used, dehydrated eraser. So be it; my inner creep knows no thresholds. I do think we’re a bit beyond throwing her in a string bikini and posting her twerking for the Vine , but indeed, let’s give credit where it’s due.

*I can’t vouch for the validity of all these pics*

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Words by Tony Grands
Follow on Twitter here
tonygrands@yahoo.com

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