Unless you live under a rock, you’ve undoubtedly seen the promotional trailers for Ted 2. There are the obligatory scenes featuring alcohol, a drug reference, some boobs, but more importantly, there is the dialog that essentially explains the premise, or plot, of the film. This time around, it seems our pal Ted is on a mission to become a “real person” so he can marry a human. Yeah, I wasn’t expecting that shit either.
This plot twist is nothing new; it’s the classic Geppetto’s puppet scenario, in which Pinocchio eventually became self aware & desired to be more than what he knew he was. I’ve always compared the story of Adam Frankenstein to Pinocchio’s journey as well, because ultimately their collective mission was for mankind to accept them as one of their own. See also Robin Williams’ Bicentennial Man and the futuristic A.I., too, if you don’t have anything to do later.
Hollywood is good for dishing us apocalyptic warnings and dystopian danger signs wrapped as entertainment, but every once in a while the message happens to slip past the cleavage, explosions, and weed jokes. Even though I’m admittedly not totally clear on the storyline, I know enough to know that – much like Terminator some 30 years ago – we are witnessing prophecy.
The message seems to be that we are spiraling towards becoming slaves to the things we create. It’s already happening. Now it’s about to level up, if you will. The signs are there if you have the anti-social literacy to decipher them.
There’s a scene in the trailer where Morgan Freeman is explaining to the jury – because they are in a courtroom – why we should consider Ted a person, or something like that. With all due respect to the cosmic epicness that is Mr. Morgan Freeman, get the fuck out of here. I don’t blame Ted, though, as much as I hate him, I blame the men and women who are, in essence, breathing life into inanimate objects. Giving robots (or bricks or televisions) free will and decision-making abilities is the wrong thing to do, if you ask me. Plus, at this rate, smartphones will be humping legs like chihuahuas. You may awaken to your Fleshlight satisfying its desires. Imagine that. A sense of entitlement to go along with their sense of awareness. That’s some scary shit.
Human are effectually enabling machines to inevitably make decisions and Ted seems to be another tool in the propaganda machine, to convince us to go along with the program. Kinda like all the gay sex scenes on ABC lately.
Words by Tony Grands
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