The New Avengers: Who We Need Anonymous And Lil B To Attack Next


Legend has it that Californian Bay Area rapper Lil B has special powers. He has “cursed” NBA players, such as Kevin Durant and James Hardy (and possibly LeBron James), and for what it’s worth, his hexes seem to be real.

In 2015, I don’t put anything past anyone and for all we know, he could have deep roots connected to voodoo and/or witchcraft. Put it like this, I won’t diss him online. Call me a punk if you choose, but you can’t call me a dummy.

If these powers are indeed actual, there are a ton of targets he could aim them at. He may very well be the closest thing to a modern day superhero that we’ve got. Perhaps he should join the ranks of Anonymous, the rogue team of Internet vigilantes that fights perceived crime from behind a computer screen, hacking websites, releasing classified info, and just causing digital chaos to those entities that bully the rest of the population.

There’s a good chance that this will make it back to Anonymous and Lil B, because the world wide web, and hopefully they’ll collectively hear our pleas for assistance, join forces, and avenge us. Like Captain America and Falcon. He are 5 targets that this team of new Avengers can begin it’s legacy with.


Donald Trump
Mr. Trump is by far the most arrogant, egotistical, asshole-y presidential candidate I’ve seen in quite some time. If he isn’t making racist remarks about Hispanics and middle easterners, he’s bragging about how awesome he’ll be for this country, because according to him, President Obama is the worst thing that has ever happened. I’m definitely a “gotta hear both sides” type of guy, but I’m also pretty keen on sniffing out bullshit. He needs to be taken down a peg or several hundred. Not for any other reason than to remind him that he was pooped out of his mother’s vagina just like the rest of us poor bastards.


Sallie Mae
Debt Relief sounds good, but I still see people bitching and complaining about how their student loan is quietly stalking them, even as they’ve earned their degrees and been absorbed by the US of A’s sordid work force. Some countries, like Switzerland, offer college as a free tool for social advancement, and you’d think America would use the model to improve the current condition of all its thirty babes, fighting for a suckle of its successful teet. No dice. We’ve been hoodwinked, bamboozled, and we didn’t land on education, education landed on us. With a Macho Man Randy Savage elbow drop. If I had a choice between winning the lotto for the exact amount of debt that I still owe OR getting my debt wiped out, I’d say sign me up to remove that unwanted bill. I can make more money, the problem is giving it to these cocksuckers who — in reality — didn’t even help me secure a future. What a fucking gyp.


Child Support Services
This whole system is based off screwing the man over. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against supporting children you may or a not have wanted, but the way it’s done is clearly designed to punish the father. If a man creates a life, he is indeed responsible for it, I just don’t see the moms ever being penalized for their bad decision making. It’s quite the opposite; they get paid. In actuality, she’s as much as fault as he is, no? Without the proper filter in place, men will continually get the short end of the stick. Unless…


Sean Combs
I just don’t care for the guy.


Dirty Cops
Every time there is some sort of police incident involving a civilian, the civilian’s dirty laundry winds up being blasted into the public eye. Why not do the same with cops that are accused of dirty tactics? Case in point; the lady who climbed up the pole to remove the Confederate flag in South Carolina has been outed as an ex-stripper. For what? To further scrutinize her name and assassinate her character. We should do the same thing to police who shoot, injure, and openly harass the public at large. In 2015, it doesn’t matter if you’re/they’re innocent or not. All that matters is public opinion.

Godspeed, new Avengers.

Words by Tony Grands

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