Back in the stone ages, the only access that my peer group had to any type of pornography was magazines. Paper. Like the books you may sometimes hear about. There was no cable, no spice channel, no playboy network, and damn sure no internet. At the most, in those days we had phone sex hotlines that you could call if you were 18 and older or if you had your parents permission. Aside from that, perving out was our sole responsibility. We didn’t have any sort of help.
Kids these days, I tell you. They are spoiled rotten, like that carton of eggs that your mother forgot was in the trunk and didn’t remember until six hot summer days later. Naked booty cheeks and jiggly bosoms are merely a few button pushes away for this crumbsnatching generation of little heathens. This may actually be one of their many problems, but we’ll discuss that another day. They don’t have to work to see the nipple like we had to. They don’t know about the hustle and grind of digging through your drunk uncle’s bottom drawer to find his stash of Playboy and Hustler. Now, it’s as simple as picking up your little digital device and finding whatever the hell you want to see. Lucky sons of bitches. No wonder their collective work ethic is terribly low.
But alas, BET’s “Uncut” is making its way back to the small screen. For those unfamiliar with the show, it was the 18 and over video section of Worldstarhiphop.com before Worldstarhiphop.com became the new BET. That happened when BET became the new MTV. MTV became the Internet, and the cycle continued. After years off the air, BET decides to make another run at grabbing teenage boys’ (and girls, I guess) frenetic attention spans by repackaging its house of body worship for a new generation of drool-covered cleavage chasers.
The thing is however, does the show matter anymore? The Internet is chock full of scantily clad women and half naked vixens waiting to be desired and lusted after by legions of ladyless keyboard warriors. Why would any adolescent (or fully grown) pervert wait on an allotted time slot to watch women wag their tail feathers when, at any given moment of any given day, he/she can just reach into their pocket and pull out boobs? Surely if you can afford a cable bill, you can afford a phone bill. It seems like a waste of advertisement space if you ask me. Or a death-spiral grab at viewership.
So many different corners of the Internet this sort of thing already locked down already that I can’t imagine the show on the air for a very long time. Even though it’s cable, the type of content broadcast won’t allow the show to come on before 11 o’clock. That narrows your demographic extensively. And what type of company is going to drop thousands upon thousands of advertisement dollars on a show that has to compete with Internet content that gets updated daily? BET would have been better off starting an Uncut website. At least then the playing field levels out.
For nostalgic purposes, I’ll check out Uncut when it airs, but I’ll keep my hopes to a minimum.