How Facebook’s Dislike Button Could Save the World

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Mark Zuckerberg, king of the cosmos, recently announced that Facebook will soon be introducing a dislike button, and the universe roared with glee. This button, much like Dr. Dre’s deceased Detox album, has been rumored about and spoken upon within the Internet and amongst Facebook’s colorful community for years. Mr. Zuckerberg heard your pleas and whines and finally caved. You evil sons of bitches are now going to get exactly what you wished for: Facebook’s dislike button.

Right now, as we speak, the Internet is going crazy with theories and scenarios of this dislike button causing calamity and chaos clear across the boundaries of the interwebs. In all seriousness, though, what would be so different from the amount of damage that gets done behind the like button already?

Originally, the like button was meant to be something positive. It was invented to proverbially pat people on their back and tell them “Way to go!” and “Keep up the good work.” Instead, it has become a perverse measure of imaginary success and nonexistent popularity. It has seemingly wrecked homes, destroyed families, and in some extreme cases, may have cost people their lives. And this extends beyond Facebook. This goes for all the social media platforms, where users pad their stats with bogus profiles and saturate their homepages with images and accomplishments in hopes that their friends, followers, and fake fans like and share them into celebrity status. Countless people have died attempting to take selfies in hazardous situations, too, thusly committing suicide for likes.

The amount of global attention paid to that little thumb icon is nothing short of astounding and I’m convinced it may now be more recognizable than Ronald’s M or Michael’s jumpman.

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But it seems people are failing to realize the ultimate potential of this dislike button. It will open up new portals of Internet honesty. Think about it. One may have to sift through 1000 hateful dislikes to get to a few honest dislikes, but for the most part, someone disliking your shit on FB should create some sort of inner-dialog about whether you should be actually doing it or not. It’s really no different than the thumbs down button found on plenty of websites including YouTube and most sites hosted by WordPress, so don’t be misled by the media to think that this is something brand new. The only true difference is that Facebook is probably the most dangerous website in existence and now, with the dislike button, has the potential to be a powder keg for supreme baby mama drama and extinuating mad rapper temper tantrums.

If you ask me, this is the equivalent of Apple introducing new features that already existed somewhere else. Countless websites give you the option of hating on the next person, but with Facebook being the largest country on the planet, of course it’s going to get the most attention. And I see nothing wrong with a dislike button being used as long as it’s being used with genuine intentions. There should be a specific clause that says if you dislike something on Facebook you must explain why in the comments. That would filter out a lot of the unnecessary energy wasted online, and ultimately change the way people correspond with one another on Facebook as well as other social media sites. Under this clause, honesty and integrity online may have a chance of actually making a comeback.

The world waits with baited breath on the morning we wake up and see that Lord Zuckerberg has granted us, his lowly FB denizens, more complex opportunities to bicker like schoolgirls. I predict this is the first step in Facebook officially becoming the booklearnin’ version of WorldstarHipHop.com.

— Tony Grands

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4 comments on “How Facebook’s Dislike Button Could Save the World

  1. Champ Ion says:

    Heard about it, but haven’t read up on it yet. I’m wondering if the dislikes will remain anonymous……. doubt it, but still. Chaos will ensue, hell we already got Skynet. This move will push us over the edge!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I gave the thumbs down to this article for no reason at all but b/c it was there lol … Still gonna share this … Didnt know it was happening and there is alot of things I #like to acknowledge I have seen it not b/c I actually like it

    Like

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