Introduction: “Blow The Whistle!” is dedicated to rappers that we LOVE and continually support through various platforms, all the while pretending to ignore the obvious fact that these artists aren’t that great on the mic. They seem to lack the lyrics, wordplay, formats, patterns, wittiness, and style we clamor for, but have somehow outlasted many of your favorite MCs. Some would even consider them wack. The views expressed in this section will probably piss some people off but the aim isn’t to hurt, discredit or dishonor anybody. Fuck ’em.
Now that that’s out of the way, we launch this inaugural segment with the forefather of mediocre raps, Too $hort.
Todd Anthony Shaw — better known as Sir Too $hort — is an Oakland, California based hip hop legend. He’s been entertaining the masses since 1983 when he and Freddie B. released “Don’t Stop Rappin.” You wanna hear it? Hear it go.
Notice the 1983 version of Too Short sounds just like the 1996 version of Too Short, which sounds just like the 2015 version. All his raps sound like dirtìy nursery rhymes for the most part, even if he did drop some gems on us.
Who amongst you can deny the greatness of “The Ghetto?”
Why do we say “Biiiiiitch!” the way we do?
Who, in the history of the rap game, has done a song with 2Pac,Ice Cube, Biggie, Snoop Dogg, Jay-Z, Scarface, UGK, AND 8-Ball & MJG?
And furthermore, how the hell did he get certified lyricists to say “you know who we need on this track? Too $hort!”?
We’ll tell you how. Respect.
With a career spanning 32 years, Too $hort has remained one of the most well respected rap artists ever. Outside of a slight skirmish with The Luniz and another with Messy Marv, I can’t think of anyone that has disrespected Todd Shaw.
He’s the founder of The Dangerous Crew and record label, which was responsible for introducing us to Spice-1 and Ant Banks. He’s also the force behind Up All Night Records which introduced Based god Lil’ B and The Pack.
$hort moved to Atlanta, developed a whole new sound, and hooked up with Lil Jon to drop a banger with “Blow The Whistle” in 2006. He also dropped a double album in 2012 with E-40. The man said it himself on his first record, he simply “don’t stop rappin.” Too $hort might be a mediocre lyricist, but that has never slowed down the hustle.
Unlike his contemporaries, he never found a need to impress anyone outside of the bitches and pimps he made music for. Clearly $hort didn’t concern himself with petty Hip Hop things like winning awards for his penmanship. And if I’m not mistaken, Todd has never referred to himself as an MC.
As ordinary as his raps were — and still are — Too $hort has outlasted dozens, if not hundreds of fellow wordsmiths while dropping dozens of hits and he should be proud of that. Plenty of one-hit wonders with scads more talent have come and gone while $hort, regardless of his vast mediocrity, has outlasted them all.
Think about it; how often have you heard Too $hort called “wack?” You haven’t. Even if you think he is…
Be sure to continue the conversation in the comment section below. See you next week!
–Words by TGDC Staff