TGDC News: Proper Way To Use Men’s Room Toilet Seat Guard Revealed

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The flimsy piece of papyrus (shown below) is valuable beyond measure. It’s a men’s restroom toilet seat guard. It is all that protects you from open world nastiness when dropping the kids off at a public pool. For years, man has used this common public restroom accessory incorrectly. Per usual, TGDC IS here to help.

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The middle portion serves as a guard to ensure your peen doesn’t come in contact with the vile, public porcelain. After removing paper guard from wall unit, fold middle perforated section frontward, toward your knees, and secure between seat opening for maximum effect. Warning: much like a condom, this will only serve as a mode of transportation to crabs, so always look before copping a squat in a public restroom.

For some of us, this changes nothing, simply because many American males choose to poop at home. But for the rest of the brave, male population that regularly makes the decision to eject their deuces at work or school, this bit of eye-opening information may be life-changing.

— Tony Grands

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