Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups
Communication is one of the major things that divides men and women these days.
Not (necessarily) to say that we should talk more or less — that much is in the hands of the individual situations — but more to say that HOW we communicate certain things makes a large difference in our outcomes.
Not all acts of sex should be classified as “making love.”
There, I said it… Not everyone engaging in sexual congress is committing an act of love.
One time several years ago, I was speaking with a man and his wife about how they were looking for a situation wherein they could mate their Pit Bull with a properly-documented female pit bull. While the man looked at it as a business transaction, wherein he would eventually get to keep a fraction of the puppies to move on for profit, the woman was in left field about how she was unsure their dog (actually, their incarcerated son’s) would know what to do because he had never made love before.
Needless to say, I was floored… Lady, these are DOGS. All they know are the mechanics of creating other little dogs, with nothing more to read into it.
Fast forward 5 years. I was speaking with this woman I know who was unhappy in her marriage and basically looking for someone to supplement.
(no worries, I was far from interested in this broad)
She describes an arranged situation where she is basically stalked by a stranger, never sees him coming and gets grabbed up, blindfolded and made love to hard from behind.” Lady, that is a rape fantasy, not love. Besides, who “makes love” to their side situation on purpose? We learned in these very pages that is a way to get fucking murdered for your efforts.
I could continue on with more examples, but why should I?
In the world of intimate physicality, there are three major food groups:
Having sex; that is the simple act of working as a pair so that at least one but hopefully both individuals involved achieves an orgasm. Hanging out and discussing it after is optional, as is being in a committed relationship to do so.
Making love; a lot like the above “having sex,” but the relationship and hanging out and talking about it are pretty much mandatory. This is an act that is reserved for people who readily admit to being in love and with some mind on carrying the situation with those constructs indefinitely. It is as much about the intimacy (and sometimes procreation) than it is about the sex.
Sport-fucking; this should be pretty self-explanatory. To a seasoned and grizzled veteran of nooners, quickies, one-nighters, smash-and-dash and the new tried-and-true “Netflix and chill,” this is LIKE having sex, with even less on the line. Never should you ever expect to lay around long enough to even finish the movie. It can reasonably be 2 or more days before you’ve been heard from again and never should there ever be any pretense of a relationship. Sometimes these sessions are more a footrace to see who cums first.
The overall point here is that even in spite of women’s sexual liberation and the proliferation cougars, high-sex-drive women and other forms of advanced thottery, not everyone seems to be fully aware that just because you’re having sex or even fucking does NOT mean that you are making love. This is a point made more confusing by the fact that the best among us can find all three of these sexual partners in the same person, but this is RARE and usually ends when marriage commences. The differences between MUST be respected.
Men usually know this, while women seem to be confused, delusional or even denial about it — even while being actively fucked!
That, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am here to provide these discussions. It would surely suck to be making love to someone who is merely fucking you, now wouldn’t it?
Words by PHLIP
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Questions, comments, complaints?