Yawkin’: A New Way To Drop The F-Bomb


Words by Champ Ion

Coitus.  Banging.  “Relations”. Knockin’ Boots.  Gettin’ It In….

We have been giving “doing the do” cute (as well as vulgar) pet names for-damn-near-ever.  Welp, courtesy of me and my boys, I’d like to posit another entry into the “codename for sex” field.  But first, a little history.

With me as the sole exception, all of the members of this particular crew have kids.  Babies even.  So whenever we all hung out, it was at a family themed event, therefore, no foul language.  So instead of using the predominant f-bomb, one of my buddies started using the word yawking.  Upon hearing it for the first time most of us were in tears.  And that’s how we started using it.

But then it’s meaning started to evolve….


It wasn’t just sharing any freaky, intense sexual moment.  Oh no!  You were either the yawker, as it were, or the one being yawked.  Yet, and still, it was more to it than that.  So what did we really mean by this term?  I think we all came to the conclusion that yawking isn’t just putting it down.  It’s not just performing with something to prove.  It’s more than just a spirited romp in the sack.  It was the defining descriptor for moments when you and/or your partner had to tap out due to an over abundance of pleasure, however the cessation was denied (without protest, mind you.  Otherwise that’s rape) and the over abundance of pleasing continued…. vigorously!

How can you tell that you’ve yawked or have been yawked?  Though there are a myriad of responses, here are a few clues that yawking has occurred: :

You wake up wondering where are your undergarments as referenced in Andre 3000’s “Where Are My Panties?” …. and you want more.

You have no recollection of what you did prior to what just happened, but you know it felt AWESOME ….. and you want more.

You wake up and immediately start cooking/cleaning/washing cars/cutting grass/fixing things/preparing taxes/mending clothes/painting accent walls/pressure washing… in hopes that they will stay and provide more yawking. 

And this is only in reference to the ladies! …. because you want more.

You cry uncontrollable tears of joy, yet still wonder why they did this to you… and, besides…… you want more.

Guys usually respond the same way, but only after waking and experiencing what Richie felt after Sunshine left in Harlem Nights…

I figured I’d give you guys a heads up, what, with Valentine’s Day right around the corner and all these stupid #WasteHisTime2016/#WasteHerTime2016 memes floating around the social networks.  I just want to do my part to help you guys (& gals) regain focus on what’s really important.  If you haven’t figured it out yet, it’s to NOT be the one being yawked!  With that said, and your introduction to the term and it’s ideology; go forth and love your loved ones and make sure you yawk them harder than they yawk you!

You’re Welcome!

Words by Champ Ion
Follow Champ on Twitter.
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