Words by Wes G.
There is a delicate balance to a romantic relationship where one person is an avid sports fan and the other has a sports IQ of 7.
When you think about it, sports is DOMINATING today’s entertainment scene. Between on field cameras, multiple 24 hour sports networks, and off-season coverage to boot, content is far-reaching and accessible as it has ever been. Football is on 4 days a week from September to January. Basketball seems like it never goes off from October to June. Then for some strange reason, God decides to bless baseball fans with five-hour games that come on every day from April to October.
So what if you have tickets to a double-header? Want to spend a work shift at the ballpark? Not with someone who has no idea who the Dodgers are. That kind of time balance along with along with sleep, work, and other “stuff” there is hardly any time for RHOA, LHHNY, or any other acronym that stands for a one hour brain freeze. Notwithstanding that, there are a few things we can do to co-exist and share our sports affinity with our affinity for each other.
First, if you like LOVE sports then damn it partner up with someone who has just as much interest in it as you do! The sooner you understand the person is sports-ignorant the sooner you understand that you have automatically been designated as their tutor. You have no choice and you will deal with it or end up spending Saturday doing “honey-do’s”. No way in hell are they going to A) let you watch EVERY GAME alone or B) Sit next to you silently while you and the crew pound beers and snacks or you wild out on the couch after a pick-6. Questions like “What does that red flag mean?” or “What’s a double play?” will be common. Your brain will hurt and you may want to get in your car and drive away. Be smart. Don’t sign up for that! Pick. A. Person. Who. Likes. Sports. Too.
And for your own sake, if you know they don’t understand sports, teach them. If you don’t you’ll want to throw your remote out of the window because you will have to pause the game every time there is a question. Take a logical approach and tell your boo during your down time. Even better, refs, athletes, and coaches all use the pre-season to get in physical shape for the season so you can do the same and get ready mentally. Use the games that don’t count to teach the important stuff. You can even make it fun and act like you are seriously training for the upcoming season.
Alternatively, for the partner who isn’t a sports fan, please understand that this is our time.
Most of us played sports growing up and find a relatability in professional athletes.
We identify with them in a very Al-Bundyesque-I-scored-four-touchdowns-in-one-game kind of way.
We use these few hours a day to sit around and just be a fan.
You have LHH and we have the NFL. We need acronyms too! If you are going to sit around and watch the games with us you have to know Rule No. 1: You do not get to ask questions about what just happened. You will want to know…resist the urge to ask. If I saw a referee throw a yellow flag onto the field for the first time I would have questions too. RESIST THE URGE TO ASK. Google is your friend. I repeat: Google is your friend. There is a treasure trove of knowledge available to you on the internet. If you want to know what an interception is, Google it. Double Play? Google. Alley Oop? GOOGLE. You may even want to go to Wikipedia for “soft” info. I wouldn’t advise using them for specifics but the basic info is there. And most importantly if you’re going to ask, please do not wait until the most important part of the game to ask the question! But you have to know the game to know when the most important part is. Alas! There is your challenge KNOW THE GAME! And if you already do but your partner doesn’t…TEACH THEM OR DUMP THEM (or banish them to the bedroom)!
Words by Wes G.
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Questions, comments, complaints?