Who’s Your Favorite Rapper? (And What That Says About You)

Big Sean
tumblr_lrh5lzigff1r2efkko1_500Big Sean is that guy you went to high school with who swore he was gonna make it “big” one day. That makes a lot of sense, actually. Because he’s not big. He’s just the opposite. One wouldn’t even notice his physical attributes until he’s standing next to another rapper. Then you’ll see that he’s actually little. Mobb Deep creates that same illusion, except one of them probably has a gun in most instances and we all know guns add 10 or 20 feet to your height.

Plus, he used to brag a lot about how he dropped out of school to pursue his musical career. So I imagine his gang name nom de plume stage moniker is really just a slap in the face of all those people who laughed at him and told him he wasn’t good rapper back when he was struggling to convince people that he IS a good rapper. (Btw, he’s not.)

Sean is the headliner at one of the many summer music fests this season, and while this can easily be mistaken as a nod to some sort of lyrical prowess on Sean’s part, it ain’t. It’s because he’s the popular draw this season. That BeyoncĂ©-bitten Me, Myself, and I remake sealed the deal. He even dropped a duet album with another popular-yet-mediocre artist, Jean Aiko. As if that’s something anyone’s going to run out to buy illegally download.

Sean would have created a more holistic opportunity doing an album with Metro Boomin or DJ Quik on some “I’m about to heat up the summmer!” shit. Instead he drops an album with a chick who may or may not write lyrics about unicorns. But…for the record, Big Sean is a star for a reason. He can’t be that bad of a guy.

If Big Sean is your favorite rapper, I’m going to assume you are relatively trustworthy and hard-working, with an affinity for big-bodied women. He also strikes me as the type of cat that saves all his money for nothing in particular then blows it on bullshit, like new car upholstery. Which isn’t that bad in contrast to cocaine and hookers. I guess you can’t be that bad of a guy, either, if Big Sean is your favorite rapper. You’re likely a bit of a douche, but who isn’t?

Words by Tony Grands
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