Hip Hop Culture for Grown-Ups
Kanye West was spotted at the Met Gala this weekend wearing colored contact lenses. While this isn’t necessarily a stretch for Kanye West, a man known for his exuberant behavior, one has to wonder, what the hell is going on?
K-Rock has taken a dark, twisted turn towards the unusual since officially becoming Kardashian. (I don’t doubt that one day papers will emerge that show Kanye legally changing his last name to Kardashian ‘pon jumping Kimmy Kakes’ magic broom. Also he seems like the type of guy who says things like “I wish I could have the baby for you” during labor. But that’s neither here nor there.) Along with his recent antics such as flipping out on Taylor Swift for the second time and wilding out on Saturday Night Live, we can now add that he is apparently going through some sort of identity crisis.
It’s no secret that the Kardashians are legitimately the first family of plastic surgery. Not to but flexed on by the tribe he created, Bruce Jenner, the squad’s unofficial earringleader pulls the ultimate plastic surgery and rearranges his or her entire sexual orientation. To make matters worse, Lamar Odom overdoses in Nevada, which may not necessarily be a direct descendant of the Kardashians tree of narcissistic psychosis, but it damn sure qualifies as a form of self-mutilation.
Right on cue, we have Kanye West, slowly unveiling his manual recalibration to a not so surprised public with the introduction of some god-damned colored contact lenses.
Clearly, the Kardashians broke Kanye.
But, I can’t lay all the blame on that dangerous bunch of real life cartoon characters. I’ll give him some credit for his lunacy as well.
Like remember that time he interrupted Taylor Swift’s interview just to swing back and forth on Beyonce’s bra strap for a few minutes? To this day, I’m not sure any of us really know what that was all about. That same night, Kanye was seen walking to and fro guzzling Hennessy straight from a big ass bottle. It takes a little bit of crazy to guzzle Hennessy straight from a big ass bottle, especially when you know that the entire world is watching everything that you do.
You may recall when he walked around with his hair unnecessarily sliced into fragments and portions, looking like Pinhead from Hellraiser. That was the most unnecessary hairstyle(s) I’ve ever seen in my life. To complement the pristine ridiculousness of that Google-Maps-cesar, he later rocked a shag. Yes, a shag. Black America’s answer to White America’s mullet. However, the world was not ready to bring back the shag, thank the barbershop gods.
If memory serves me correctly, Kanye West is the only rapper to get into a physical altercation with the paparazzi. Rappers beef with rappers all the time, and sometimes it even leads to fistfights, robberies, even murder. The ramifications for these situations are generally nil because rappers don’t want to tell on each other. No snitching and whatnot. Plus no one cares when
Black people rappers kill each other anyway. And even though social media has completely changed the game, only a crazy motherfucker would attack somebody that’s recording them. Not only did Yeezy put hands on a cameraman while other camera men were in the immediate vicinity, but he also got sued for it, and there was even mention of him going to jail when it all popped off. Luckily for Kanye, he never served any time for that ridiculousness, because I truly believe that if he did he would have been pushed over the edge. It wouldn’t be the trickle-down effect that we are all blessed enough to be witnessing firsthand today. It would have been swift, abrupt lunacy.
And if I may speak a bit of an unpopular opinion for a moment, I’m genuinely surprised that so many people find his clothing line, including his shoes, appealing. Even before the Mad Max and Star Wars memes began flooding the internet about a year ago in response to his Hip Hop hobo haberdashery, my initial thought when I saw a jacket he designed was, “that looks like some shit Lando Calrissian would wear.” The more clothing designs I saw, the more I was convinced that Kanye is either having a nominal mental breakdown or has picked up a slight cocaine problem. I’m still not sure if both of those aren’t the at this very moment, but that was the nail in the coffin for me. I believe it takes a crazy person to design clothes that look like they weren’t designed, if that makes any sense.
These are but a few scant examples of Kanye’s preexisting condition. Though I’m no fan of the Kardashians, and I believe they are an unclassified branch of the United States government designed with the sole intention of destroying society from the inside out, one idiot at a time, I can’t rightfully place all the blame on them for the one man reality show that is Kanye West. He’s been working up to this point for years.