5 Benefits of Being Forced to Pay Child Support

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This article isn’t about taking care of responsibilities, nor is it a reflection of how I feel about my kids.

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Are You In Violation?: 5 Things Men Should Stop Doing Immediately

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tgdc-manhoodmondays

It’s hard being a man. No pun intended. We get misused, abused, forgotten, taken for granted, overworked, underloved, etc. Well here at tonygrands.com, we celebrate manhood constantly and vigorously volley for its acceptance in today’s cattywompus world.

As men, we should be strategic and intentional with our upliftment of one another. After all, we’re all we got. (Not really, but you get it.)

Today, we’ll look at 5 things that men should stop doing immediately. At least 2 of these could save your life.

Manhood Mondays: 6 Things A Chick Is Checking Out In The First 5 Minutes Of Meeting You

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There are 2 types of people in the world. People searching for companionship, and everyone else. Assuming you’re part of the 50% that are looking for some sort of mate, this should help ease the possible missteps of the first impression.

See, women are keen, observant, meticulous creatures. To underestimate them is to shortchange yourself. I’ve heard they can and do decide whether or not they want to even be bothered with a man’s company within moments of meeting them. For the sake of this particular discussion, let’s say it takes them about 5 minutes.

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Wonder why they never text you or accept your friend request after y’all seemed to have hit it off so well at the mall’s food court? Maybe these 6 things a chick is checking out within the first 5 minutes of meeting you will help you gain some perspective.

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The Condition Of Your Shoes
In most instances, I’ve found shoes to be used as a sign of status, even though it’s shallow and materialistic and downright snobby. But, through years spent purposely behind lines in the friend zone, I’ve also learned that clean shoes – regardless of make and model denote the same amount of social status as something fresh outta the box. Take notes, boys. Wipe ya shits down before you hit the street and stop worrying about waiting in line for the new Jordans.

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The Length Of Your Fingernails
We all have that one homeboy that has decided to let one of his nails grow long under the urban myth that the shit somehow looks cool. He probably sports a shiny top coat, too. No dice. Granted, I understand how handy it comes in times of nose-plucking or ear-digging emergencies, but it looks terrible. And if I think so, imagine how the person who is considering giving you sex feels about it.

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The Number Of Teeth You Do/Don’t Have
Women don’t look at your mouth to purposely count the missing teeth. They do it because humans have an innate reflex to look at mouths for a better means of communication. It’s natural. So the last thing you want is to be housing a mouth full of burnt sunflower seeds. President Obama has you paying for healthcare whether you like it or not, anyway. Take advantage, man. Because you can have all the slick lines in the world, but it means nothing if the inside of your mouth looks more like a parking lot than a place to eventually place one of her breasts. Sorry to break the bad news to you.

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Wedding Band Tan
Most married men who cheat make the mistake of taking their ring off when it’s time to do something foul, thus only exposing their natural finger flesh to the sun’s rays periodically. This develops a tan. As for myself, I don’t wear my wedding band often. My marriage isn’t hinged upon a piece of jewelry. But I also don’t cheat, and that makes a difference. Nonetheless, I’ve experienced it firsthand, they look at your hand if they are even remotely interested.

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The Words You Use
It’s obvious that some women often lower their standards when choosing a companion. No shots at the selection of dudes out there these days, but from my point of view, it’s bleak. No Memphis. In your effort to sound hip and cool, do not make the mistake of sounding so cool that you appear uneducated and unable to string together simple sentences. Slang is okay when chillin’ with the homies, but words like “thot” and “unemployed” can be a faster turn-off than the light switch in The Flash’s bedroom. You don’t need a college degree to sound like you have a high school education.

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Hand Tattoos And Bullet Scars
Both of these markers denote a past life of questionable decision-making. Of course, anyone can get shot, and tattoos aren’t necessarily all that ghetto, but there’s a sense of danger and excitement when one has either. This can work to your advantage for the lovely lady who’s intrigued by bad boys, or it could be a red flag, flapping relentlessly behind you, scaring away any potential victims partners. Conversely, be leery of a woman who is drawn to you because of those things. Unless you’re about that life. Which, obviously you are if you have them, so no worries, bro. Never mind.

If need be, use this as a guide, make the necessary roster changes, and try harder next game.

Catching a mate isn’t rocket science, but it also requires a scant degree of common sense, and there’s where the problem lies. Best believe these aren’t the only things she’ll be checking out, but if you pass this initial test, you’ll be one step closer to a having unprotected sex in your committed relationship.

Words by Tony Grands
@Tony_Grands

Questions, Comments, Concerns, or Contributions? Hit us up. tgdcmailbox@gmail.com

Manhood Mondays: 5 Types Of Chicks To Avoid While Sowing Your Wild Oats!

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As summer approaches and you’ve long broken up with all your girlfriends to further weigh your bachelored options, remember that there is more to this game than just knocking down pawns. (See what I did there?) You gotta be careful not to get entangled and ensnared in webs and nets that could otherwise be avoided.

Many men plunge to their eternal, slow-motion doom because they weren’t fully equipped or prepared when beginning the valiant mission of sowing their wild oats. They ambush life in search of fun and adventure and inadvertently get captured, living the remainder of their sloth-like existence in utter confusion. Don’t be like those men.

In an effort to save mankind from himself, we’ve presented a short list of women to avoid while attempting to sow your wild oats. Because there’s nothing worse than having your oats tamed against your will.

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Poor guy...


Mommy Dearest
The Mommy Dearest has no choice but to be everyone’s mother. She was unintentionally designed to be that way through thousands upon thousands of man-hours taking care of her dozen siblings. She never had much of a social life because she was too busy changing diapers, cooking dinner, cleaning the house, doing her homework, and holding down the household while mom worked. Or partied. Same difference. She’s been telling motherfuckers what to do for 3/4s of her life and I guarantee you’ll be treated no differently, my friend, regardless of how you “put it down” in the bedroom. It’s important to remember that she’s not bossy, she’s just used to being in charge. Nevertheless avoid her at all costs unless you really don’t mind a woman telling you what to do all the time. She’ll command you into a committed relationship before you can muster up the courage to talk back loud enough.

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A sports team worth of kids.


Sperm Bank
Even as being a professional babymomma seems to be going out of style (it may have something to do with the influx of openly gay relationships but that’s just a theory), there are still multitudes of women roaming free who don’t see anything wrong with having a bunch of kids by random guys. I’ve come to learn that these women aren’t even necessarily in it to profit from their offspring, they just don’t see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind resulting in going half on a baby. Avoid becoming a link in this chain of fuckery (unless you’re about that reality show life), or find yourself sitting at the Baby Daddy’s table at family functions, a situation that usually ends in fist-fighting. And the more babydaddies present, the greater the odds of you getting stabbed in the ribs with a spork and arrested for trespassing. Nah.

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Notice the pose. "Statue of Liberty."


Statue of Liberty
This strong-willed, self-motivated beacon of hope is the glowing leader of all the helpless and harmless women she blesses with her cosmic presence. She’s independent and stoic and doesn’t need a man for shit. Her masculine attitude gives her a gay-ish aura, but she seems interested in you for now, so take her sexuality at face value. You won’t be able to woo her with what you have, because not only does she have bigger and better, but she got it on her own and truly doesn’t need yours.

She may often talk about purchasing expensive concert tickets or what she does for her mom every Mother’s Day as examples of her unyielding power.

To survive, stay in your lane, or risk getting put out in traffic, so to speak. In fact, don’t even give her the impression that you need a ride. Just buckle up and be prepared to get dropped off whenever she realizes you can’t kick in on gas money.

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According to Google, this is a "sex fiend." Nothing personal, lady.


Sex Fiend
As young men, we often dream of the day when we find a young lady with an insatiable, never-ending sexual appetite. Little do we know then, wading in the bliss of youthful stupidity, that this is like playing with fire. Because you could actually get burnt,  but that’s neither here nor there. Nope, on second thought, that’s here. Definitely here.

True story: I got with a girl and later found out she’d had sex with at least 12-15 of my close associates at the time right before becoming my girl. Prior to knowing about her whoring around, I was mesmerized by the frequent, awesome, porn clip sex we had. Once I knew she was basically a freelance prostitute, her promiscuity made sense. She had a clinical problem and needed professional help and had I not barrel-rolled in time, I would’ve been another casualty. Fuck all that.

I’ve learned the higher the sex drive the more the need to investigate, and as long as you can keep that in mind, you’ll be fine, and hopefully, infection and unwanted baby-free.

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Bag Lady
Unlike the other examples, the bag lady has no uniform nor theme song nor distinguishing marks with which you can identify her by. The bag lady has strategically placed walls around her shit, internally AND externally, so it’s guarded from – and sometimes invisible to – the naked eye. There are not-so-obvious signs that she is carrying all her problems, woes, worries, and issues from the past in one gigantic proverbial sack, but those indicators vary from person to person. The easiest way to avoid volunteering to help a bag lady carry all her shit is by taking the time to see what’s what. Read the question before you start trying to figure out the answer, if that makes sense. Similar to the sex fiend, a high sex drive should serve as a red flag, just in case. Better safe than sorry.

Also, don’t drink and drive.

Words by Tony Grands
@Tony_Grands

Questions, Comments, Concerns, or Contributions? Hit us up. tgdcmailbox@gmail.com

Complex Lists The Best Rapper Alive, Annually, From 1979 To Today

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Complex.com is known for their attention-grabbing headlines and over-the-top content, but this is neither.

Compiled by numerous contributors, this list tackles the almighty question of which rapper is the best, and adds a little science. The ending result is a thorough breakdown of each year, complete with its champion and all the major players of honorable mention.

It’s a bit lengthy, but a recommended read for rap fiends and Hip Hop heads regardless of age. Shout outs to Ice Cube, Snoop Doggy, and Kendrick Lamar for holding the West coast down (Tupac is from New York). And for the sake of discussion, I’ve stripped the list down to its skeleton:

1979 Grandmaster Caz
1980 Kurtis Blow
1981 Kool Moe Dee
1982 Melle Mel
1983 Run
1984 Run
1985 LL Cool J
1986 KRS-ONE
1987 Rakim
1988 Slick Rick
1989 Big Daddy Kane
1990 Ice Cube
1991 Q-Tip
1992 Redman
1993 Snoop Doggy Dogg
1994 Nas
1995 Notorious B.I.G
1996 Tupac
1997 Notorious B.I.G
1998 DMX
1999 Jay Z
2000 Eminem
2001 Jay Z
2002 Eminem
2003 50 Cent
2004 T.I.
2005 Young Jeezy
2006 Lil Wayne
2007 Kanye West
2008 Lil Wayne
2009 Jay Z
2010 Kanye West
2011 Drake
2012 Drake
2013 Kendrick Lamar
2014 Guess who?

Words by Tony Grands
@Tony_Grands

Questions, Comments, Concerns, or Contributions? Hit us up. tgdcmailbox@gmail.com