Manhood Mondays: #BuyCondomsWhenYouBuyBlunts – Join the Movement

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A simple statement for complicated situations. Protect yourself.

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“Real Motherf*ckin’ Talk With Tony Grands”

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Today begins a joint venture between trendy sports website BadCulture.net and yours truly. I’ll be contributing monthly to BC for a column called Real MF Talk With Tony Grands.

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Yelp! and Facebook Are Having A Baby Named Peeple In November

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I was surprised when I found out people really used Yelp!

Sometime a couple of years ago, some of my more douchebaggy pals were discussing where to eat lunch. One of them began yapping at the other one about this restaurant that he wanted to try. The other, less aggressive douche whipped out his smartphone and began typing feverishly, thumbs blurred. I asked was he getting directions, he said:

Nah, I wanna see what Yelp says about it.

I was blown. I thought only old folks, tourists, and tin foil hat purists used Yelp! in real life. Come to find out that my place of employment is even on there, but I refuse to look for myself for the fact that I may be in the comments, dragged through proverbial mud — by name — for the deliverance of shitty less than stellar customer service. Which brings me to my next point.

There is a new Yelp-like app called Peeple, created by Julia Cordray and Nicole McCullough, that gives the user the ability to rate people in real life, using a five-star system. wpid-fb_img_1443756237854-1.jpgIn other words, you can give a person a score based on their perceived quality as a human being. Users are required to log in under actual names, must be 21, and, allegedly, negative comments will not be allowed. Long before the app’s November launch, the team is already promoting an anti-bullying sentiment.

When I first heard about it, I withheld my wily judgment and simply laughed, because I didn’t think this was real. Peeple, or the concept of the forthcoming app, is already executed within all the preexisting social media platforms. You, nay, we judge and rate people everyday online. The need to have a specified venue for what is already prevalent is a bit excessive if you ask me. Which you kinda did when you clicked the link. Ha.

I get it. People want an unmitigated avenue to bitch and complain about other people they don’t like. That’s understandable. But to isolate and highlight and give people the pinpointed opportunity to tear someone else down in the name of a social rating system is absurd. The levels of bullshit are extremely high with this one. To me, it’s funneled hate, packaged in a way that the provided “entertainment” will totally eclipse any immoralities created. More people will be cheering than jeering, clamoring than complaining for Peeple, because bloodlust is real in today’s world. Already the app is being referred to as “something so dark and vile that it may cause people with low self esteem to hurt or kill themselves.”

Damn.

But make no mistake; this is no different than Facebook. If you really want that drama, and feel the need to score someone on the life, do it there, on FB, where your friends, coworkers, and family members can see the kind of POS you are in real time.

If I were technically inclined, I’d be working on an app that let’s you meet up and fight at a local park. Seems like some shit that would make money these days.

For more on Peeple, or to join before the wave drowns us, visit forthepeeple.com

–Tony Grands

Why Facebook Is The Future And Fighting It Is Futile

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The sad truth about today’s world is that social media is a real thing. The Internet is a real place. Unless you prefer to live totally out of the loop and choose to go completely off of the grid, then you must take part in social media. I have friends who refuse to and sadly, each year — little by little — those friends are fading away from the world like Marty McFly and his family on that picture that he kept in his coat pocket in Back to the Future.

Social media is where your friends are. It’s where your family is. It’s where you get your invitations, updates, and all your news. Social media has taken great leaps and bounds since its days of inception, back when Myspace was literally the only space. Since then there has been a virtual, digital, intangible explosion of the places where human beings can log on and relentlessly communicate with one another. Combine that with Ray Kurzweil’s theory of The Singularity and the epic landscape of information exchange that awaits us is lush with endless possibilities. If sci-fi movies are any indication as to how we’ll communicate in the future (which they are), the horizon is inarguably massive. Almost a bit frightening.

First things first, however. One thing that everyone on planet earth must come to grips with is that you need a Facebook account. Yes, you do. You don’t need a Twitter account because the only purpose it truly serves is entertainment. There is a bit of networking that can take place but on a general level it’s more fun than function. Instagram is very similar to Twitter. In fact, Kik, Pinterest, Tumblr, they’re all pretty much the same at this point. Audio, video, file transfer, text. All social media sites offer up the same entre. What keeps you around are the side dishes. But that’s neither here nor there right now. This is about Facebook and its gradual global domination.

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I’ve written about Facebook numerous times over the years to get you to understand one thing.

What?

That Facebook will become/has become the alternate universe that human beings exist in. It may sound a bit far fetched but if you understand what I mean then you can clearly see that the process has already begun. There will be no need for emails, telephone numbers, various alternative social media websites, none of those things will have a place once Facebook fully evolves into the living robot that it truly is. Embrace it now or feel the pressure later. Facebook will be as important to your survival as an identification card.

It may very well be the antichrist.

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Often I see and hear people complaining about the drama on their FB pages. This, my shallow friends stems from a lack of diversity on your account. All you follow are relatives, coworkers, friends, ex-friends, with a few associates and random people sprinkled throughout. Basically your Facebook is a mirror of your reality. No wonder it’s stressful. Facebook is a window to the world and it would behoove you to remove the tin foil hat and take more than a cautionary peek. Accept some random friend requests. Send some random friend requests. Live a little. Make the most of it. Turn Facebook into your personal corner of the Internet and accept the inevitable. Folks complain about how bad or depressing or fake it is, but guess what? That’s all your fault. No one put a policeman in your room and made you friend all these people that you know can obviously no longer tolerate.

The main reason Facebook sucks for you is because you refuse to fully realize its potential at connecting you with the rest of the planet. The literal world is waiting to be your friend. Remember, It’s your Facebook account so you can do whatever the hell you want with it. Go buck wild and eliminate all of your friends if you feel the need to! Follow, friend, and then block all your relatives if that makes you happy! Find an entirely different sect of people to chat with and forget about everyone you know in real life!

What I’m trying to illustrate is that Facebook, aside from possibly being the beginning of the end of all physical human interaction, is also a very valuable tool in today’s world, and so many people are quick to dismiss it because they are not using it correctly. To them I say expand your horizons and stop living in the past. Facebook is the future and fighting against it is futile.

Tomorrow is here today, folks. Welcome to the future. You better roll with it or get run over. See ya on FB!

— Tony Grands