5 Things Scarier To Me Than Terrorism

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5 Reasons Why America Doesn’t Really Suck

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1. Bigotry vs Persecution
-A little racial profiling &/or service refusal is small cookies compared to my family & I being murdered while we sleep. Just saying.

2. We Can Avoid Famine For 99 Cents
-A dude can literally beg his way through a lifetime of meals in America, in any reasonably urbanized city. If you don’t require technology & comfortability (& lack pride), this may be up your alley. Pun intended.

3. No Population Control
-Compared to places where there are limits on how many children you have, it feels good to know that some young girl is providing for her 8 kids with our tax dollars.

4. I Can Be Anything I Want, Even Gay (No Homo)
-America really is the country to go to if you have dreams & aspirations. Really though, there’s a reason you can’t pronounce your doctor’s names. Any of them. Now, it’s time to start teaching that work ethic to the home-grown children.

5. Our Military Can Still Kick Your Military’s Ass
-Yep. I doubt that’ll change any time soon. It’s easy to feel cool when you are the biggest dude on the proverbial block, with the fanciest “toys” at your disposal. God forbid we have to “play” with North Korea. &, this is also probably why America is the Douche Bag capital of the universe.

God bless America (because I damn sure ain’t planning on moving anywhere else). Happy 4th of July. Oh yeah, no drinking & driving this weekend, folks. Thanks.